What I’ve Enjoyed Reading Lately!

I’ve started having a love affair with my Kindle app on my phone. I read at night. I read in the bathroom. I read when I’m sitting in the school pick-up line.

I read what people suggest. And I read what my friends write.

Most of the time, I can’t remember what happened in the book two days later, but for the hours that it takes to read one of these novels, I’m fully engaged and living life with the characters. It’s a lovely escape.

Here are a few of my recent favorites. And yes, they are affiliate links. If you purchase through these, my Starbucks habit doesn’t have to be broken. Mwah! Happy reading, y’all!

One Plus One: A Novel by Jojo Moyes

Cancel the Wedding: A Novel by Carolyn T. Dingman

Luckiest Girl Alive: A Novel by Jessica Knoll

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

Like No Other by Una LaMarche

Landline: A Novel by Rainbow Rowell

Take My Husband, Please: A Romantic Comedy by Kimberly Jayne

The Last Letter from Your Lover: A Novel by Jojo Moyes

The Girl You Left Behind: A Novel by Jojo Moyes

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert (I highly recommend the hardback copy of this book so you can underline and highlight and draw in it!)

After You: A Novel by Jojo Moyes (sequel to Me Before You)

Divorce: A Love Story by Jonathan Weiler and Anne Menkens

Say Their Names: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month 2015

“If you know someone who has lost a child, and you’re afraid to mention them 
because you think you might make them sad 
by reminding them that they died–you’re not reminding them.
They didn’t forget they died.
What you’re reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, 
and…that is a great gift.”
~Elizabeth Edwards~

Today, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In 2006, after years of pushing for it, the day was recognized by the House of Representatives. In 1988, President Reagan had declared October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. But in my opinion, celebrating this day for ONE day is much easier for a parent who has lost a child than for the whole month.

The International Wave of Light is the simultaneous lighting of candles in memory of these babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss at 7pm in your local time zone tonight. The result is a continuous chain of light spanning the globe for a 24 hour period. Just think about that for a minute. How beautiful!

So tonight at 7pm, wherever you are, light a candle or say a prayer (or do what you do) in memory of all the baby angels that are watching over us and in honor of all the parents left behind to grieve the loss of dreams and bright futures for their children. Take a minute to say their names out loud. Remember them. Realize they were here and real and loved and are still loved…

These are my special Angels and members of The Club I will be lighting a candle for tonight:

  • Our first baby: Junebug – miscarriage at 13 weeks, June 19, 2002
  • Our second baby: Charles “Charlie” Fleetwood Anthoine – died at 24 days old from late-onset Group B Strep, born May 21, 2003 and died June 14, 2003 – his story here
  • The daughter of Pam Doherty, Hannah Noelle MacDonald was born still on February 3, 2003 from Group B Strep sepsis. Her father is John MacDonald.
  • Oliver Nelson Wright, son of Chris and Danna Wright, born and died October 2, 2010.
  • Leighton Sophie Taylor – daughter of Amy and Chris, twin sister to Jaxon – born May 26, 2011 and died June 17, 2011 from Group B Strep
  • Stephanie and Anna Causley – daughters of Paul and Robyn Causley – miscarriages at 12 and 6 weeks, respectively in 2003.
  • Sara Kay – born still September 7, 2009
  • Susan and Matt’s baby – miscarriage at 12 weeks – December 25, 1999
  • Emma Jade – Kat’s sweet baby – miscarriage at 9 weeks in 2001
  • Cara Jennifer – daughter of Carrie-Ann – born and died on August 17, 2010 – lived 12 minutes
  • Jill and Kyle Clay’s babies – Baby Clay, miscarriage October 2004 and Baby Clay, miscarriage October 2005 – both around 10 weeks
  • Cora Mae McCormick – November 30, 2009 to December 6, 2009
  • Skye, Dakota and Martina – Nanna Chris and Mommy Staci and Little Sister Joclynn’s triplets – July 7th, 2007
  • Drew and Amanda’s Baby – miscarriage October 6, 2010
  • Brianna Elizabeth Franzen – Daughter of my friend, Julie. Born January 29, 1998 and died March 7, 1998 from a heart defect.
  • Cecily’s Sons – Nicholas and Zachary, October 27, 2004
  • Shauna’s Babies – one at 16 weeks, one tubal pregnancy
  • Erin’s Babies – Baby 1, September 2006, miscarriage; Baby 2, January 2007, miscarriage; Baby Girl 1, December 2008, late miscarriage; Baby Girl 2, born still on August 17, 2009 at 18 weeks.
  • Elizabeth Anne’s Baby – Baby Childs, miscarried June 12, 2006
  • Elizabeth Anne’s Friend’s Son – Jonah Oliver, delivered and died on Thanksgiving Day 1997 at 18 weeks gestation.
  • Becca’s friend’s daughter – Chandler Rivers, born 13 weeks early and died a week before her due date.
  • Jessica and Mark’s Daughter: Hadley Jane, born October 9, 2007 and died October 11, 2007.
  • Trish’s baby “Peanut”
  • Michael and Robin’s babies – miscarriage at 5 weeks in April 2009, and miscarriage at 10 weeks in September 2012
  • Olivia Grace – daughter of my friend Barbara. She was born January 8, 2004 and died August 23, 2004 from bacterial meningitis.
  • Sunday’s babies – Tomorrow Dawn- December 1993, miscarried at 8 weeks and Samuel- January 2002, miscarried at 11 weeks (named our first son Samuel in his honor and memory)
  • Lindsay’s baby – little one lost to miscarriage at 10 weeks in May 2003
  • Lynn’s 8 babies – 5 lost at 14 weeks and 3 lost early at 8-10 weeks
  • Ms. Marie’s baby – miscarriage October 1977
  • Isabella Pearl De Leon – Stillborn one week before scheduled delivery. March 5, 2011. Paul & Nicole De Leon
  • Nora Henke –  Born still December 30, 2012
  • Mike & Lauren’s babies: miscarriage at 6 wks in 1999; miscarriage at 7 wks in 2000; miscarriage at 10 wks in 2001
  • Carter Austin – March 18, 2006
  • Tucker Harris Neu and Fletcher Thomas Neu
  • Fiona Jane Tully was stillborn on May 8, 2011, and her sister, Brigid Eileen Tully, lived from May 8, 2011 to June 23, 2011 – daughters of Eileen Tully
  • Leah Brook Tomlin – daughter of Bevin and Adam, sister of Taylor. Born January 7, 2013 and died January 13, 2013 from Prenatal-Onset GBS
  • Carl Martin Kerr – passed away in utero at 6 months. Born on January 25, 2013. Baby Kerr – miscarried at 6 weeks on August 25, 2013. Both children of Solanke and Cincia and siblings to Isabella.
  • Jacob, born at 20 weeks in 2006. Lived for 52 minutes. Son of Nick and Melissa Tabbert.
  • Isabella-Rose Elizabeth, born still October 12, 2009, daughter of Tia.
  • Bailey Winter Dumitru, son of Tori and Kevin, born at rest December 8, 2007.
  • Renee’s daughter, Lucielle Diane, born and died July 15, 2013
  • Caleb Andrew Franklin, beloved Son of Julie and Andy. Born at 24 weeks on August 17, 2004 and died August 25, 2004.
  • James Chadwick “Chad” son of Jimmy and Debbie and brother to Kristen and Brandi, born and died November 16, 1980 due to a placental abruption.
  • Asher Vinsant, son of Kylie Vinsant, born January 4, 2012 and died January 12, 2012 due to Early Onset Group B Strep.
  • Eve, daughter of Wade & Kacey Dixon, born October 21, 2010 and died November 4, 2010 from Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome
  • Amelia, daughter of Bob and Catherine, born May 4th, 2014 and died June 1st, 2014 from Late Onset Group B Strep.
  • Angel Wills, baby of Michael and Jamie, August 2010.
  • Henry, son of Sara and Brian, born May 29, 2007 and died December 17, 2007.
  • Andrea and Jay’s baby. Miscarriage in November 2010.
  • Heather’s daughter, Clara Edith Webb, who was stillborn on July 1, 2012 at 42 weeks 3 days gestation.
  • William Benjamin Redland, born April 10, 2014 and died April 28, 2014 due to Group B Strep.
  • Beckie’s baby. Miscarriage, March 1999 at 9 weeks.
  • Jo’s babies: John Sebastian – Potters Syndrome, full term, born still November 12, 1999; Damian Paige – late term miscarriage August 20, 2005; Willow Soleil – November 18, 2013 miscarriage.
  • Alisha’s son, Mason Daniel Pablo. Born still at 26 weeks on July 23, 2015.
  • Kelli and Michael’s son, Grady Michael, born and died June 12, 2015 from Potter’s Syndrome. Little brother to Slater and Mykelyn.
  • William Barsi, son of Jennifer and James Barsi, big brother and fierce protector. Arrived at at 24 weeks, 1 day on January 29, 2013, and in doing so saved his twin brother and his mother’s lives. He died on Valentine’s Day 2013.
  • Baby Girl K and Baby EE, babies of T.
  • Chloe, daughter of Leesa, ectopic pregnancy in 2001.
  • Angela Talo’s baby, miscarriage February 26, 2006.
  • Skylar Natasha Maine Milner, daughter, younger and older sibling to John, Joanna, Haylie, and Aria. Born June 18 2013 died June 17 2013 at 28weeks.

Older “babies” we choose to remember today, too.

  • Laura Kaye Anthoine – October 20, 1969-April 3, 1981 – Daughter of Kaye and Roy, Sister of my husband Jason
  • Allison Reid – daughter of Robin and Sean Reid – though she was not an infant when she died, she contracted the same bacteria that Charlie did and suffered long-term challenges. Allison was born on March 1, 2002 and died on January 25, 2008. I had the honor of meeting Allison and she was a fabulous fighter.
  • Cason Heard Adams- January 27, 1989-December 4, 2001 , was called home to live with the angels. He was a bright light to all that knew him and is greatly missed everyday by his family and friends.
  • Chrissi’s Son: Tyler, born March 22, 1997 and died September 15, 2003

** I will add babies if you email me at janasthinkingplace@me.com to tell me you want me to add your angel. I know there are so many more, but I don’t want to publish without your permission. These are from previous years and I’ve added new ones. I have also decided to add older children because really, they’re all our babies.**

One Last Anniversary

Seventeen years ago, on September 26, 1998, standing on a St. Augustine lawn at The King and Prince Resort, two people agreed to love, honor, and cherish each other til death do them part. It was out of a fairy tale, if you had a fairy tale with leftover tropical storm winds, fresh and soggy sod down the aisle, and humidity that made the cake (that was inside) start melting and toppling over.

Lighthouse Wedding

The night was beautiful. Planned around football schedules, everyone who was able to attend did. We even had a few wedding crashers! My dad’s band played as long as the hotel would let them and the next morning, from the “round room” we watched the sun rise over the ocean as Mr. and Mrs. Anthoine. It was perfection.

Over the years, life happened. Loss happened. Life kept happening, good and bad.

Laughter filled rooms that were later filled with tears.

Events were celebrated in high style and others were marked simply with grace and honor.

Life changed us. For better and for worse.

We lost our way, and in it, our passion for one another.

Today marks our last anniversary.

September 26, 2015.

We’re technically still married, though divorce papers are filed and waiting for a FINAL stamp that will replace “til death do us part” with “til the judge says we’re no longer married.”

We stood before God and everybody seventeen years ago and took vows we thought we would never break. In fact, we sat in the “oh shit” room in a hospital and swore we would never “be a statistic.” But here we are. Now we have new vows to carry us through the future.

We vow to love each other in the way only parents who share the loss of a child can.

We vow to respect each other in the way only parents who have the same hopes and dreams for their son can.

We vow to co-parent with grace and dignity and promise to never speak ill of the other in front of Henry.

We vow to help each other in a time of need.

We vow to find happiness that was lost between us. It’s out there for both of us to find.

We vow to remember the 6210 days between our wedding day and today as they were, not with regret.

We vow to love, honor, and cherish Henry and the memory of Charlie til death do us part.

Happy seventeenth anniversary, Jason! Here’s to whatever’s next for both of us!

Apart. Part 2.

A few months ago, I wrote about Jason and I deciding to separate. It wasn’t an easy decision or one that was come to quickly. Much thought was put into it and much care was taken to do it the best way possible for both of us and especially for Henry. It has worked very nicely.

The boys took a vacation. Henry and I spent lots of time together. We all three did a few things together. Pretty sure we even laughed, cried, and got a little pissed off at some point.

But after a summer living apart, we’ve decided we like “us” this way. Apart. So apart we will stay.

(yes, you can read into that that we’re getting a divorce)

I can say with 100% certainty, being apart has brought us closer. Not closer as husband and wife, but closer as friends. And more importantly, closer as parents of Henry.

So here’s where we choose to go — our separate ways, which aren’t really separate at all. We will always be connected and always hold a certain love for one another.

There are things that no other person in this world could ever share with us that we have shared together. Only the two of us will ever be able to share the moment when we were told our Charlie would die. Only the two of us will ever be able to share Henry’s first cries and first broken arm and first days of school. Only the two of us will be able to share all our professional ups and downs of the last 17 years, our health ups and downs, and even our emotional ups and downs.

September 26 will be 17 years since we said “I do” on the St. Augustine lawn at The King and Prince in St. Simons. I’m not sure if we will still be married then or if it will all be final, but for the rest of my years, I’ll remember the feel of that grass under my feet as a 22-year-old Jana married the man she loved.

He will always be special. Always be part of me. Always be loved.

But now we both get to go and find our new happy, new life, and hopefully even new love.

Wish us all luck!

Give a Shot. Make a Difference. #Blogust 2015

Give a Shot. Make a Difference. #Blogust 2015

Did you know that around the world, every 20 seconds, a child dies from an illness that is preventable by vaccine? Diseases that have long been managed or eradicated in the US are still taking lives around the world — measles, polio, diarrhea, pneumonia. One in five children lack access to immunizations that will save their lives.

Have you buried a child? I hope not.

I have. And it shakes me to my core to think that there are over a million children a year dying from something that is preventable. Think about that number. It’s earth-shattering.


A few months ago, I was asked to become a Champion for Shot@Life, an arm of the UN Foundation that…

“educates, connects and empowers Americans to champion vaccines as one of the most cost-effective ways to save the lives of children in developing countries. A national call to action for a global cause, the campaign rallies the American public, members of Congress, and civil society partners around the fact that together, we can save a child’s life every 20 seconds by expanding access to vaccines. By encouraging Americans to learn about, advocate for, and donate to vaccines, Shot@Life aims to decrease vaccine-preventable childhood deaths and give every child a shot at a healthy life.” (from Shot@Life)

I was honored by this because after Charlie died, I had a big realization.

I have something in me that this world needs. My voice. My passion. My desire to never see another child in a casket. When I was asked to share one of my favorite quotes for Blogust 2015, I knew it was this one.blogust quote

We all have something in us the world needs. Maybe it’s your desire to make beautiful art or write amazing books. Maybe it’s that you sing or make a great latte or can hold someone’s hand and instantly make them feel better.

You can make a difference.

And so can these children whose lives we aim to save. They were born into this world for a reason. Let’s get them the life-saving vaccines they need, so they can fulfill their purpose.

It’s easy to make a difference during Blogust.

Simply comment on this post or like/share it on Facebook or retweet it on Twitter. Each action equals one vaccine donated to a child around the world.


During Shot@Life’s Blogust 2015—a month-long blog relay—some of North America’s most beloved online writers, photo and video bloggers and Shot@Life Champions will come together and share inspirational quotes for their children.

Every time you comment on this post and other Blogust contributions, or take action using the social media on this website, Shot@Life and the United Nations Foundation pages, one vaccine will be donated to a child around the world (up to 50,000).

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