The Dog and the Reincarnated Chicken

WARNING: This may be graphic at times, but it may make you wet your pants laughing, too!

So back in May, one beautiful Sunday morning, Henry and I were sitting at the breakfast table eating. Jason was still in bed as it was pretty early.

I look up from my breakfast and damn if there’s not a DOG on TOP of the chicken house. Not a small dog…maybe pitbull size. Shortish and stocky, but very thick. It jumped off and ran around and around the house.

Chickens were squawking. Feathers were flying. I stepped out on the back stoop to scare the dog off and it came AT ME.

Not cool, bro.

Here’s the best part: I go inside and tell Henry to “go get your dad, there’s a Chicken Emergency”…how awesome is that? He goes to get Jason and in the meantime the dog goes IN the tiny door at the end of the chicken house. So now he’s inside the chicken house, chickens are trying to get out or up on the roost. Noise. Feathers. Panic. Sheer panic.

Jason gets the shotgun loaded. Goes out. The dog has a chicken in its mouth. Shaking it around. Not a pretty sight. He pulls the gun on the dog and the dog lays down. Poor thing had clearly been at the end of a gun before.

Jason opened the door for the chicken (and ideally the dog) to come out. The chicken, bless his heart, limps out, seemingly bleeding (something was coming out of it) and heads out around to the front of the house.

Meanwhile, I call 911 and they send a deputy out. But from inside the house I hear Henry yelling, “The chicken’s DEeeeeeAaaaaaaAD”.

I go inside to look out the front window and sure enough, the chicken is laid out in the front yard. No bueno.

The deputy gets here and promptly sprays the dog with pepper spray and the dog runs off. Good riddance. Later we would wonder why the deputy didn’t have any concern about Jason standing there in his underwear, with a loaded gun… but whatever!

Turns out we could have shot the dog for threatening me and the chickens. Kinda glad we didn’t but it was an option.

So the deputy leaves, Jason goes to get the dead chicken from the front yard and lo and behold…

THE CHICKEN STANDS UP AND RUNS AROUND!!!

The dead chicken was alive! Don’t know how, but she was. And still is.

The moral of the story is never trust a dead chicken!

Mashup of topics!

Well, since I posted on Facebook about what I should blog about, I thought I would take everybody’s advice. So here goes a kooky post!

Bubble Gum. I don’t like it. Don’t buy it, don’t chew it, but if I ever have any I tend to pop it.
Change. I like change. Well, I like coins. I like to collect them and take them to the grocery store and cash them out. I’m not big on “change” like maybe Obama’s change for example. I’m all for life changes though for the most part.
DOT Pothole covers. I now wonder (thanks Kay) WHY the pothole covers aren’t beveled on the edges. The only thing I can think is that the DOT is in cahoots with tire companies and they try to knock your tires out of alignment or make you get a flat. Thoughts??
Colors. I really do often wonder who came up with the names of colors. Or just words in general. It’s strange to think that at one time “time” wasn’t called “time”. Maybe it was called “pig” or “little” and somebody would say “Hey, do you know what pig it is?” Strange to think about…
Books, Cars or Sex. Good rules to live by. Don’t read a book while driving a car AND don’t drive a car while having sex.
Dogs. That reminds me that I never blogged about the dog on the chicken house. And the chicken that came back to life. Now you’re curious!
Cougars (the older female ones). Honestly, I don’t know what makes older women (aka Cougars) like younger men other than the fact that maybe their husbands are dead and they have lots of money and they can do whatever the hell they want to. Hmmm…maybe that’s something to aspire to.
Thanks for the suggestions. Maybe that got rid of my blogger’s block!
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