If you give Jana a brownie…

Is it just me or do those “If You Give a …” books make you have ADD? I mean, the cute little pig just goes from one thing to another without cleaning up after himself or anything. He’s getting a cookie, then a party, then he’s changing clothes and on and on… I’m tired after reading the damn books.

So that got me thinking. What would happen if you gave Jana a brownie?

((imagine angels singing AAAAaaaaHHH))

If you give Jana a brownie

She’ll have to get some milk.

She’ll go to the fridge to pour some milk

and she’ll realize there are lots of leftovers.

She’ll pull a out a few containers, dumps them out

and throws the containers into the sink.

She realizes the sink is getting full

so she’ll unload the dishwasher.

She’ll put away the dishes and remember she forgot to unload the washing machine.

She’ll unload and fold the clothes

and take them to her room.

While putting the clothes away

she finds that her shoes aren’t where they belong.

She will reorganize her shoes.

Then she is enlightened and thinks she may have a few things to give to Goodwill.

She sorts through her closet and finds her favorite boots.

She thinks they are a pretty color brown

and wishes she had a cow that was brown and soft like that.

When Jana thinks about that cow she gets a craving for milk.

So she goes to the fridge.

She pours a glass of milk and thinks to herself,

“I sure would like a brownie.”

The End. Bang.

The “If You Gave a…” series is written by Laura Numeroff

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  1. Man! I’m tired after reading that!

  2. Awesome!! I love that story :)

  3. Ms. Crabass says:

    haha exactly how it would go! Those books are certainly an exercise in ADD.

  4. I was going to do one called if you gave Lance an oatmeal raisin cookie, but it ends with me in rehab after wrecking my car and having a lost weekend where I wake up in Mexico with no pants on and doughnut glaze on my face. Too depressing for the Jana Thinking Place.

  5. That is my life. And thanks, now I want a brownie.

  6. I love this. Today my goal is to create a story with everything I eat and/or drink. It’s my birthday. It’ll be my way of celebrating.

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