October 15: Remembering “The Club’s” Babies

There is a very special and elite club that I’m a member of. This is a club that nobody ever wants to join. And once you’re a card-carrying member, you can’t believe it. It’s not how you imagined it.

Every day there’s a meeting. Sometimes more than one. Sometimes the meeting lasts for days or weeks. A lot of times, meetings are impromptu. You’ll be strolling down the aisle at the grocery store and see something that reminds you there’s a meeting. And you HAVE to go. You can’t call in sick. You can’t call in tired. You have to go. You MUST attend.

Most of the time people don’t talk about The Club. But I choose to tell everybody I can. That way maybe we’ll have fewer members that have to join. I mean, surely we’ll run out of space one day…right? Eh, probably not. As long as there are babies being conceived, there will be new members of The Club.

What is this Club? I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now. It’s the elite “Parents of Beautiful Angels Club” and unfortunately too many of my friends are members. This Club is not reserved for parents who have lost babies. It’s for anyone who has lost a child. Whether they are 1 day old, 5 years old, 12 years old or 30 years old. It doesn’t discriminate. We take anyone who has suffered the loss of a child, of a dream, of a future, is included in our group. A group in which you can’t buy yourself out of, or just resign, or take a leave of absence. It’s forever.

Today, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In 2006, after years of pushing for it, the day was recognized by the House of Representatives. In 1988, President Reagan had declared October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. But in my opinion, celebrating this day for ONE day is much easier for a parent who has lost a child than for the whole month.

The International Wave of Light is the simultaneous lighting of candles in memory of these babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss at 7pm in your local time zone tonight. The result is a continuous chain of light spanning the globe for a 24 hour period. Just think about that for a minute. How beautiful!

So tonight at 7pm, wherever you are, light a candle or say a prayer (or do what you do) in memory of all the baby angels that are watching over us and in honor of all the parents left behind to grieve the loss of dreams and bright futures for their children.

These are my special Angels and members of The Club I will be lighting a candle for tonight:

  • Our first baby: Junebug – lost to miscarriage at 13 weeks, June 19, 2002
  • Our second baby: Charles “Charlie” Fleetwood Anthoine – died at 24 days old from late-onset Group B Strep, born May 21, 2003 and died June 14, 2003 – his story here
  • Laura Kaye Anthoine – October 20, 1969-April 3, 1981 – Daughter of Kaye and Roy, Sister of my husband Jason
  • The daughter of Pam MacDonald, Hannah Noelle MacDonald was born still on February 3, 2003 from Group B Strep sepsis. Her father is John MacDonald.
  • Oliver Nelson Wright, son of Chris and Danna Wright, baby brother to Walker – Born and died October 2, 2010.
  • Stephanie and Anna Causley – daughters of Paul and Robyn Causley – miscarriages at 12 and 6 weeks, respectively in 2003.
  • Sara Kay – born still September 7, 2009
  • Susan and Matt’s baby – miscarriage at 12 weeks – December 25, 1999
  • Emma Jade – Kat’s sweet baby – miscarriage at 9 weeks in 2001
  • Cara Jennifer – daughter of Carrie-Ann – born and died on August 17, 2010 – lived 12 minutes
  • Jill and Kyle Clay’s babies – Baby Clay, miscarriage October 2004 and Baby Clay , miscarriage October 2005 – both around 10 weeks
  • Allison Reid – daughter of Robin and Sean Reid – though she was not an infant when she died, she contracted the same bacteria that Charlie did and suffered long-term challenges. Allison was born on March 1, 2002 and died on January 25, 2008. I had the honor of meeting Allison and she was a fabulous fighter.
  • Cason Heard Adams– January 27, 1989-December 4, 2001 , was called home to live with the angels. He was a bright light to all that knew him and is greatly missed everyday by his family and friends.
  • Cora Mae McCormick November 30, 2009 to December 6, 2009
  • Skye, Dakota and Martina – Nanna Chris and Mommy Staci and Little Sister Joclynn’s triplets – July 7th, 2007
  • Drew and Amanda’s Baby – miscarriage October 6, 2010
  • Brianna Elizabeth Franzen – born January 29, 1998 and died March 7, 1998 from a heart defect

** I will add babies if you message or comment that you want me to add your angel. I know there are so many more, but I don’t want to publish without your permission. I have also decided to add older children because really, they’re all our babies.**

There are wonderful resources for parents who have lost a child, are battling infertility, are facing chronic illnesses with their children and many other topics over at Band Back Together. Check it out if you haven’t already!

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Comments

  1. Thinking of you (((hugs)))

  2. Thank you. I spent a LONG time on your blog last night (not in a stalker way). I’ll be thinking of you and your angels today.

    • You know you’re a stalker! I may or may not have stalked your blog, too. But I’ll never tell!
      And thank you, Hannah. You’re sweet!

  3. You’re right, they are all babies. xo And, all are so sad. Today is sad. I will remember today. Would love for you to light for Cora as well.

  4. Thinking of you today, Jana.

  5. Jana, Very well done! Thank you for such a beautiful tribute!.
    John

  6. Thank you Jana ((((hugs))))

Trackbacks

  1. […] to remembering the fragile lives that were taken from us, all too soon.  My amazing friends Jana and Becky have posts that truly cut to the core of what this day means to so many.  Please, do […]

  2. […] isn’t here. I’m the mom of a forever angel. I’m a card-carrying member of “The Club.”Mother’s Day marks the beginning of what we call the (Season of Ick). When I was […]

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