The Couple Who Couldn’t Say No

Once upon a time, there was a newlywed couple who loved football. She loved Auburn football and he loved Georgia football. They both shared a love of tailgating and uh, parties with free liquor. They received a beautifully packaged invitation to the University of Georgia Athletic Department Senior Awards banquet. It was her birthday weekend of 1998 so they decided it would be a fun outing.

The Banquet had a silent auction. And was it mentioned that there was a free bar? Well, there was. And they were pouring strong drinks. Why wouldn’t they? They were trying to get you to bid on things like used footballs, worn jerseys, tickets to dinner with the coaches and locks of hair from their golden boy Herschel Walker. (Not really that last one, but it’s surprising they didn’t)

One item in particular jumped out at this glowing newlywed couple. A skybox for 10 people for the Auburn – Georgia game of 1999. And the bidding was so low. They decided to put their name down. Then they continued drinking. And bidding. And drinking. And bidding.

Surely they wouldn’t get it. Dinner was served. Awards were given. The couple next to them was insistent on having the winning bid for the offspring of Uga that was in the live auction. The offspring that was not only not BORN, but also not conceived yet. But their children were dying to have Uga’s descendent so why wouldn’t they buy it? They bid. Suzanne Yoculan (the gymnastics coach) bid. They bid. Suzanne bid. OMG they won! They won the dog. For the BARGAIN price of $9000.00. What the holy hell? $9000 for an unborn, UNCONCEIVED ugly ass dog? *sigh*

The shiny couple in all their pretty clothing and newlywedded bliss were minding their own business when somebody brings over a bid sheet. They had won the skybox. For $3000. H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T. What? Who bid that high? They drank to try to figure out what the hell to do. Oh well. They just pay for it and get on with life.

Painfully, the husband pays for the skybox for 10. They immediately start making a list of people to invite and wondering if it would be ok to charge them $300 each to come? Of course not… They fill the skybox with half Auburn fans, half Georgia fans.

The game came. The 103rd meeting of Auburn and Georgia, this time Between the Hedges (that means in Athens, GA for those out-of-staters). Apparently Georgia forgot to show up. At halftime the score was heavily weighted in Auburn’s favor. Georgia came back to make it closer.

Auburn ended up winning 38-21 that year. It was a wonderful experience for those who loved Auburn. It was painful for those who loved Georgia and paid an insane amount for the chance to sit in the skybox, though.

Every good story has a moral, as does this one. Never, repeat NEVER, drink and auction. Take this newlywed* couple’s word for it.

*That couple has now been married 12 years.

Related story: Dear Gene Chizik

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  1. So I’m assuming no skybox this year? 😉

    Go Dawgs. (You know I HAD to… it’s illegal not to type/say that here in Athens whenever the Dawgs are mentioned. Especially if you go to church with Coach Richt!)

    What a lovely story. Well, all except for the obscene price. And the drinking which led to it. Lesson learned. 😉

  2. $3000. Seriously? Dammmn.


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