Freaking Friday, Y’all

Freaking Friday, Y’all

I could put all kinds of crap here about how I’m pregnant, getting a divorce, getting a boob job, yadda yadda yadda and then go all

APRIL FOOLS!

on ya. But that would be mean. So I won’t. I’m NOT pregnant. NOT getting a divorce. NOT (unfortunately) getting a boob job and yadda yadda yadda.

I am, however, apparently a marvelous artist. See? I painted this:

Seriously, I’ll give you a few minutes to compose yourselves. I know it’s beautiful and has made you weepy.

(taps fingers)

(waits patiently)

My friend Rachel (who IS in fact with-child… WOOHOO!!!) and I went to a little place called Dip N Dab where they guide you through painting your very own masterpiece, like the one you see above. (I know, I know, it’s lovely… stop with the compliments)

Side note: Rachel and I have been BFFs since WAY before the term BFF was even invented. We lived down the street from each other, went to school together, I drove her crazy ass to school in my awesome Cavalier RS (which stands for Really Shitty, though it wasn’t Mama and Daddy, it’s just a joke) and she was in my wedding! We’re like bread and butter. Peas and carrots. Vodka and OJ. Peaches and cream. You get it…

Back to the story.

Look, here’s Rach adding some finishing touches to her very own masterpiece:

Isn’t she amazing? And talented!

She spent the night with us because she had to work today and I’m pretty sure she’s going to have the most epic day EVER because she got to sleep in THIS BED:

The Force is with her. And her unborn child. Who will more than likely come out looking like Yoda (like all babies do) and (if it’s a boy) wielding his very own light saber that pees instead of lights up… all because his mother cared enough to sleep in this fabulous bed. They may even name him R2-D2 in the bed’s honor.

There’s no April Fooling here, just business as usual. Enjoy your day and don’t believe anything anybody says. (except me because all this is totally true, just ask Rachel)

On a really serious note, I AM very worried about my friend Becky. She posted a column today that is bothersome to me. You should totally check it out. (though not if the P word, F word or S word offends you).

(edited: I hope by now y’all know that Becky’s post was an April Fool’s post and she doesn’t really give her kids Hello Kitty wine. though it IS a great thought.)

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Comments

  1. *sobs*

    I NEED HELP.

  2. I love the painting. I took a painting class for my photography degree. The self-portrait the teacher took one look and had this really odd look on her face. I finally said “You may as well get it over with.” She burst out laughing. The end of class she had both my first and last painting at the end of class to prove ANYONE could learn to paint. I like van Gohg:
    “If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”
    — Vincent van Gogh
    Everyone has to start somewhere.

  3. We have a place like that here. It’s called Bottles -n- brushes. They serve you wine while you paint. So, you can imagine what THOSE paintings look like. LOL

  4. You are too FUNNY my friend! I know you and Slappey had a GREAT time! So exicted to hear about the baby!! No doubt that the “force will be with her”! I am sure that she did think the ole Cavalier was a real RS after me taking her to school in my MUSTANG GT CONVERTIBLE!! Just kidding, couldn’t resist :o) I love the painting by the way… I will have to plan a weekend to come see you and have some girl time! I could use a little of the “force” too!! Love ya :o)

  5. I am laughing my ass off, but trying to be quiet and not wake Russ up, so I keep gasping. Newt thinks I need the himelich (sp?)…
    Miss you!

    • I hope you didn’t die from laughter but if you did, I’ll be glad to share at your funeral that my blog killed you. I miss you too! Call me when you’re back from Nola!

  6. I can’t decide if you’re a better artist or hostess, because from where I’m sitting, it looks like you rock the socks off of both tasks.

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