Once upon a time there was a girl who went to Auburn. That girl who never claimed to be sane, married a guy who went to Georgia. They had season tickets to the University of Georgia football games. They loved their seats. Lower level, 40 yard line, 22 rows up, on the aisle. Couldn’t get much better than that.
Except that aisle separated the adults from the students. A lot like this.
For years, this wasn’t an issue. They would show up at the game and enjoy themselves.
Everyone in the section knew that this girl was going to be in all orange and blue on AU/GA gameday. They were ok with it. And they were nice about it. They had been sitting with the couple for years so they knew the drill. They knew she would be obnoxious if Auburn won and gracious if Auburn lost (much like they would be if Georgia won/lost).
One year when the Auburn/Georgia game came around, the girl’s husband got invited to accompany a friend on the sideline with a press pass for the first half. This was so exciting. The girl wished she could go but knew she couldn’t in orange and blue.
They tailgated (drank) and partied and headed over to the game. The friend’s wife went in with the girl to sit in the seats while her husband was on the sideline.
They moseyed over to the seats where they had sat for years. There had been problems in the previous games with students thinking that the season ticket section was THEIR section and there had been a few confrontations, but nothing prepared the girl for what was about to happen.
The girl, very politely, says to the boy, “I’m sorry, I think you’re in our seats.” She holds out her tickets for him to see through his bloodshot eyes.
The boy says, “Naw, we’re sitting here already.”
The girl, still politely says, “I’m guessing you’re a student and if so, your section is on THAT side of the aisle. These are our season tickets and have been for a decade.”
The boy stands up and the girl sees a friend gasp in the row behind him.
He was MUCH bigger than the girl. His girlfriend was still slumped in the seat half passed out and Punk Frat Boy stood up to defend “their” seats.
The girl replies, “No, they can’t. These are season ticket seats. Students sit ACROSS the aisle and you can sit wherever you want OVER THERE.” Remember she’s standing there defending season ticket seats in Auburn attire.
As he puffs out his chest and leans in towards the girl in a way that some people call “bowing up” on someone, he says, “My parents pay a lot of motherfucking money for me to go to this school and that means I can sit wherever I want.”
The girl takes a deep breath, wonders why nobody else is standing up saying anything to this jackass, and says in such a polite Southern way, “When your Mama and Daddy pay $1000 to have the RIGHT to spend another $1000 buying these tickets, you can sit in the seats they buy for you. But for right now, you need to get the fuck out of my seats before I go get security and have you taken out of this stadium. Then you won’t be able to watch the game from ANY seats.”
At that point, the guy behind us grabs the punk ass student by the shoulders and tells him he needs to go to the student section and get out of the regular seats before he calls security down.
The boy left, the game started, there was yelling and screaming and general excitement. Especially as Jasper Sanks was stopped at the goal line right as time ran out.
The girl won twice that night.
*The moral of this story is don’t mess with an Auburn girl in Sanford Stadium if she’s holding the season tickets she’s had for several decades. She will cut a bitch to keep her seats. And possibly to win the game.
*Side note of interest. The girl and her husband still sit in the same section, 5 rows further, on the aisle across from the student section. However, they invest an additional $90 for the season to buy seatbacks and the girl DARES any punk ass student to sit in their seats. She has first dibs on them if they do.