Last night, I was called upon to sit for a portrait. Obviously, I was flattered. The downside was that I hadn’t really done my hair or makeup yesterday so I was a bit concerned about how it would turn out.
I stood in the artist’s studio and did what I was told. I was very still. Held my position. Looked smart, witty, insightful and relaxed.
The artist was so good, though, he didn’t even have to look up from his work except for once or twice. I was allowed to leave for him to put the finishing touches on and about ten minutes later, my work was revealed.
Stunning, right? I’ll allow you to catch your breath.
I would give him a B+ for accuracy. I do have tiny elf ears that kinda stick out. I do have square glasses and my hair is parted right. Look how even the cut is, y’all.
I’m not sure about the wiggly mouth. I think he accidentally switched my “nice mommy” face with the “OMGI’MGOINGTOBITETHROUGHMYLIPBECAUSEYOUWON’TSHUTUP” FACE. Just a hunch.
Jason was up next, only he didn’t have to sit for the portrait.
Henry Henri retreated to his playroom studio to draw him. Alone.
This is probably why.
Allow me to help you understand.
First of all, Jason’s hair that he DOES have isn’t that long.
Second of all, he doesn’t wear tighty-whities. He’s a boxer man.
And his boxers don’t say Jos. A Bank on the elastic, they say Nordstrom. But good job, Jos. A Bank for advertising so much a 7 year old knows how to spell your company name.
His legs ARE hairy. But that’s typical when there’s no hair on your head. It has to go somewhere, right?
I give Henri the Artist a D for accuracy but a big fat A+ for awesomeness on this one.
He’s for hire.
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