When Self-Care Looks Feels Like Failing

Last night I ordered a Honey Baked Ham.

And Honey Baked Ham brand smoked turkey.

I have failed at Thanksgiving. 

For the first time since Jason and I got married in 1998, I will not be making the turkey. I don’t normally make the ham, seeing that I don’t eat either of them, but I always make the turkey. Even if we have Thanksgiving somewhere else, I ALWAYS prepare a turkey for us to have at home for the weekend.

I feel like an utter failure for forking out nearly $100 for some chain to produce my meat products (that I won’t even eat) for our favorite holiday of all the holidays.

The logical part of me that sat at the table last night panicking about how I would get everything made since I’m working Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, agreed woefully when Jason suggested just ordering it.

I will still be making all the other fixings: dressing (well, it’s frozen but I doctor it up), brussels sprouts, sweet potato casserole (crack in a dish), rolls. I’ll fix the deviled eggs and pickle plate. I’ll set the table for three and we will eat happily, maybe even at the table. Or maybe in front of the TV. Because, why not?

But I’ll know that my “self care” for my sanity caused me to half-ass the one holiday we go big for.

And I’m not sure how to feel about that.

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Comments

  1. Don’t feel bad, friend! I just spent 200 bucks on food to cook for Thanksgiving and it looks like we might be going elsewhere to eat :/ Taking care of yourself is way more important that one bird!
    Christina Yother recently posted..Finding Your Inner ToddlerMy Profile

  2. I call it triage. Sometimes it means that we can actually enjoy the holidays, which means the family enjoys the holidays with us. We made a similar decision about Christmas back before Canadian Thanksgiving, which is the first weekend in October. We need this year to just be.

    Congratulations on making a good decision and loving and valuing your guy enough to hear him cherish you.

  3. Ummmm … we bought RIBS for Thanksgiving dinner and will be eating around 2PM … right before Mike (bartender) and I (PT convenience store worker) head off to work and leave Cam by himself on the holiday. I know this “FAILURE” spot.
    Dana recently posted..Unfinished Business – Part IMy Profile

  4. I had a meltdown on the morning of Thanksgiving (Canada is in October) and left my family to fend> I actually left the house for the whole day. So you are doing great!

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