The Key To Grace

January 15, 2013 By 9 Comments

The other day, I stopped at the mailbox to grab the mail. That’s a task I dread most days. It’s never anything fun. Bills, sale flyers, notices that are for people who may or may not have lived here previously (there are like 12 different names on mail that comes here — strange).

There was an envelope in there with an unfamiliar handwriting. It was “bulky.”

I opened it and was left breathless.

grace giving keys

This is a Giving Key.

If you’re unfamiliar with The Giving Keys, take a minute and head to their site. It’s an amazing story of how a musician simply made a few keys with words of encouragement on them and turned it into a movement that employs people who are down on their luck, on the streets, or in transition. Each key is stamped with love and carries with it, love, hope, and possibility.

My friend Dawn sent me this key with a note that made me cry the ugly cry. I wish I could share it here, but really, I want to keep it between my heart and Dawn’s.

My word for the year is Grace.

This key is being worn around my neck, close to my heart, to remind me to Be Grace, to Share Grace, and to Learn Grace.

And when I’ve gotten all the Grace and Love out of this Giving Key, I will pass it to someone who needs to feel it close to their heart.

 

Filed Under: Serious Stuff Tagged With: , , ,

Memories…

December 15, 2012 By 14 Comments

Memories.

They flood back in droves. Sounds, smells, conversations. My heart flutters, bordering on panic. I feel the buzzing in my head get louder.

The memories have been suppressed for months now.

Until yesterday.

Until someone walked into a school in Connecticut and crushed the hopes and dreams of a couple dozen families. Hundreds of lives — CHANGED. Never to be the same.

I have cried for them. I have cried for the parents who have gifts wrapped under trees and who now have to choose caskets instead of Wiis and Barbie dolls.

I have cried for me and my husband and my son and for the anger that fills my heart when I think about all the babies and children I know who won’t fulfill their potential.

I’m at a loss for words, really.

I’ve written many times about finding your Roses in December, most recently at Still Standing Magazine. Imagine my surprise when I realized that our climbing rose, that hasn’t bloomed in weeks, has bloomed during a week where we have had freezing temperatures.

It’s a reminder to me that life, like nature, is precious. We can survive the worst, just as the rose can survive the cold. But just when we think we can’t go on and that life will never look the same, we’re reminded that there is hope. It may feel far away, but there is hope.

To the parents and families who have lost so much… I pray that you have Roses in the weeks and years to come. I pray that you find some peace over time. I pray that you feel the love from people around the world who are wrapping you in their arms. I pray for your community, that it may heal and learn to trust again in time. I pray for your other children and the other children of the community, that they may grow up without feeling guilty about it not being them instead. For you I pray, as a mother who has had to choose a tiny casket and a mother who will never feel her child in her arms again. For you I pray for Roses. Amen.

Filed Under: Serious Stuff, Thoughts Tagged With: , , ,

Thing you oughtta know about…

November 9, 2012 By 2 Comments

There are some things that I think are really important for you to know right now. So I’m just gonna lay them out for ya.

If you remember, a while back I reviewed a copy of Fred The Fox Shouts “NO!”, a book authored and illustrated by neighbors of mine in Atlanta. They have put together an amazing book that will empower your children to say “NO!”

In an effort to reach even more people with the message of child sexual abuse prevention, they are launching a webinar series with the presentation “Start the Conversation Now! An Adult’s Guide to Talking to Children About Sexual Abuse Prevention.”

It will cover why we, as parents and caregivers, must have the conversation now and how to have the conversation through a specific script and role playing. Attendees will leave feeling empowered and ready to tackle that very difficult conversation.

Participants will be provided with information on things to do at home to promote prevention with children and what to do if you think a child is being abused. The 60 minute presentation will be followed by a 30 minute window for questions and answers. The webinar fee is $20.00. After purchasing your webinar date and time online, an invitation to join the webinar will be e-mailed to you in 24-48 hours.

There are two dates now available:
Thursday, November 15 at 10:00 am – 11:30 am EST
Wednesday, November 28 at 8:30 pm – 10:00 pm EST
Click to enroll

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My lovely friend LawMomma has signed up to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon with the Charlie’s Angels team.

I’m beside myself excited that she, Amy, and myself will be running for Charlie. We are raising money for the Ronald McDonald House of Central Georgia, which will go to the operation of the house AND to the playroom that’s named in memory of Charlie!

If you feel led to donate, I’m conjuring up a nifty idea of how anyone who donates will be able to “run” with me in February. I haven’t ironed it all out yet, but I will!

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It’s Auburn-Georgia weekend. The weekend where the husband and I don’t have to speak, at least not cordially.

I’ll be rocking my new boots, and orange and blue heart, and will be cheering loudly for a team that will hopefully win one more game this year if we’re lucky.

I’ll mourn seeing the Toomer’s Oaks for possibly one last time, and I’ll drop some money in the County of Lee on some new Auburn gear.

I’ll smile when my kid wears his Cam Newton jersey and ill smile when my kid wears his David Greene jersey.

We are truly a house divided, but a house that loves our alma maters and will until our dying day.

Filed Under: Serious Stuff

Walking Among Angels

November 1, 2012 By 5 Comments

In honor of All Saints’ Day, I wanted to share a little story with you. It’s a great reminder for us to look around for moments that help us remember, and to treasure the memory of those we’ve lost.

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For nine years, I’ve been looking for the perfect angel or lamb for the cemetery where my son is buried.

In the old part of the cemetery in our town, there is an infant’s grave with the most perfect lamb placed at the head of the marker. I’ve searched high and low for one like it, but none has ever jumped out at me. Same goes for the angel. I’ve been searching for a little boy angel for years and none have spoken to me in the “right” way.

Until one day a few months ago, I thought I would never find one. Do you know how hard it is to find a non-Cupid, non-cherub-looking, little baby boy angel? Start looking. There aren’t a lot of them out there. Or maybe I haven’t looked in the right places.

I was visiting a customer’s gardens one day a few months back and was taken aback by all the baby boy angels that were placed perfectly throughout his beautiful collection of plants. I had a hard time concentrating on the plants and beauty for the angels I was walking among.

One in particular, continued to grace my dreams and appear in my thoughts.

I sent an email to my customer the other day about something work related and added an inquiry into where he has found all the angels… that I had been searching for the perfect one for my son’s grave.

Minutes later, I was on the phone with him, both of us choking back tears, him inviting me to “please come choose the angel that I want – the one that is perfect.”

Trying to argue wasn’t getting anywhere, but honestly, all I wanted to know was where I could find an angel like the ones he had. He wouldn’t take “no” for an answer.

That Thursday, I drove to his home and we walked through the green paths of his garden. Straight to the Perfect Angel.

I snapped a picture of him in his garden home before I placed him in my arms to take him to his new home at the head of my baby’s grave.

Words were shared about faith and beliefs, the goodness of people and the hope that people would be kinder to one another.

Leaving, I realized that in the gardens of his home, I was not only walking among the angels, his statues, but I was walking with an angel. Kindness comes in all forms and sometimes it’s hard to realize that we’re walking among angels of all shapes and sizes, even when the world is so full of hurt and sorrow and meanness.

Look around at those whom you walk through life with. Find your blessings and bless one another.

I bet you’ll find you, too, are walking among angels.

Filed Under: Charlie, Serious Stuff

July is Group B Strep Awareness Month

July 1, 2012 By 10 Comments

I struggle with being extremely vocal about Group B Strep awareness. I would love to scream, “DANGER DANGER” from the rooftops, but for me personally, I don’t like to frighten people.

I struggle with knowing when to step in and say, “You really should head to the doctor since your baby has x, y and z symptoms because those are signs of GBS.” I’ve done it a few times on Facebook and Twitter and in real life, but the bottom line is, I don’t want to say anything because I don’t want people to think their baby is going to die just because mine did.

I struggle with being able to spout statistics, because statistics are bullshit. Yeah, the chances of a baby contracting early onset GBS are slim. It’s even more slim to contract late onset GBS. And it’s downright rare for a baby to die from late onset GBS. But when YOU are the statistic – the rare one – it’s often hard to tell someone of your experience without causing sheer panic.

I don’t struggle with talking about grief. But I do struggle with talking about Group B Strep.

July is Group B Strep Awareness Month.

So I’m here to talk about it.

For those who don’t know and who may stumble across this page, let me first tell you about Group B Strep.

What is Group B Strep (GBS)?

Group B strep (GBS) is a type of bacteria that is naturally found in the digestive tract and birth canal in up to 1 in 4 pregnant women who “carry” or are “colonized” with GBS. Since levels of GBS can change, each pregnancy can be different. Carrying GBS does not mean that you are unclean. Anyone can carry GBS. (Quoted with permission from Group B Strep International)

When will they test me for Group B Strep and what does that even mean?

CDC’s guidelines recommend that a pregnant woman be tested for Group B Strep when she is 35 to 37 weeks pregnant. The test is super simple. It’s simply a swab of the vaginal area and rectum. Results are typically back at your next appointment. At that time you’ll be told whether you’re positive or negative.

A pregnant woman who tests positive for GBS and gets antibiotics during labor has only a 1 in 4,000 chance of delivering a baby with group B strep disease, compared to a 1 in 200 chance if she does not get antibiotics during labor.

Any pregnant woman who had a baby with GBS disease in the past, or who has had a bladder (urinary tract) infection during this pregnancy caused by GBS should receive antibiotics during labor.

What’s the difference between prenatal onset, early onset and late onset Group B Strep?

Prenatal onset of Group B Strep happens before your baby is born.

Early onset relates to cases from birth to 7 days old.

Late onset typically relates to cases from 7 days old to 3 months (or later in some cases, but that’s the typical timeline for GBS to infect a baby).

 What do I look for?

Symptoms of Prenatal Onset Group B Strep:

    • decreased fetal movement or no movement after 20 weeks
    • unexplained fever in mother — signals infection

Once born:

    • High-pitched cry, shrill moaning, whimpering
    • Marked irritability, inconsolable crying
    • Constant grunting as if constipated
    • Projectile vomiting
    • Feeds poorly or refuses to eat, not waking for feedings
    • Sleeping too much, difficulty being aroused
    • High or low or unstable temperature; hands and feet may still feel cold even with a fever
    • Blotchy, red, or tender skin
    • Blue, gray, or pale skin due to lack of oxygen
    • Fast, slow, or difficult breathing
    • Body stiffening, uncontrollable jerking
    • Listless, floppy, or not moving an arm or leg
    • Tense or bulgy spot on top of head
    • Blank stare
    • Infection at base of umbilical cord or in puncture on head from internal fetal monitor

What is the outlook for a baby who contracts GBS?

Babies can be infected by GBS before birth and up to about 6 months of age due to their underdeveloped immune systems. Only a few babies who are exposed to GBS become infected, but GBS can cause babies to be miscarried, stillborn, or become very sick and sometimes even die after birth.

GBS most commonly causes infection in the blood (sepsis), the fluid and lining of the brain (meningitis), and lungs (pneumonia). Some GBS survivors have permanent handicaps such as blindness, deafness, mental challenges, and/or cerebral palsy.

(Quoted with permission from Group B Strep International)

Now we’re all caught up on what Group B Strep is. So here’s where I’m honest with you.

I don’t believe in scaring people. I believe in educating people and arming them with the information that will allow them to make informed decisions.

Unfortunately, I can’t make decisions for everyone. If that were the case, nobody would ever have their membranes stripped, internal exams after finding out they were GBS+, scalp electrodes during labor, long labors without c-sections, or choose to not have antibiotics during labor with a positive GBS status.

In short, I would put everybody in a GBS-proof bubble.

As long as there is life on Earth, there will be baby loss. There will be mothers dying during labor, babies taking one breath, babies spending weeks and months in the ICU because of life-threatening conditions. As much as we want to eradicate it, it’s a fact of life.

I’m armed with more information about GBS than most doctors, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t talk to your doctor about Group B Strep. Because the incidence rate is smaller and smaller, a lot of doctors do the test at 35-37 weeks and just throw out the positive or negative results without much of an explanation. Make them explain it to you. Talk to them. Understand it.

Use your mommy and daddy instincts and USE YOUR PEDIATRICIAN. That’s why they went to high-dollar schools for a bazillion years. To help you when you need them.

The baby does something you don’t like or understand? Call them. Go in.

BE THAT MOM!

I can’t underscore this enough. YOU know your baby better than anyone and have to follow your instinct. If it says, “call the doctor,” then by God, call the doctor.

Your gut is rarely wrong.

Anyway, in honor of Group B Strep Awareness Month, I want to answer your questions.

Leave a comment (or Tweet it to me or ask me on Facebook) with any question about GBS you may have. If you don’t want to do it publicly, email me at janasthinkingplace@me.com.

I’ll post a few times this month with answers to them. And together, we will make the world AWARE OF GROUP B STREP!

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