Overwhelmed With Love

February 14, 2013 By 6 Comments

I’m overwhelmed.

Yes, I’m like everybody else and I’m overwhelmed with work and home and school and pets and all the things that need to be done around the house. I’m overwhelmed with laundry and groceries and would rather eat a bowl of cereal than cook dinner.

But I’m also overwhelmed with love.

My goodness, I’m in love with life right now!

I’d be lying if I said things weren’t going well. No, things aren’t perfect, but really, will they ever be? Yes, I get mad at the kid and wish we didn’t have a dog and cat (especially when one pees on the floor, the other throws up and then the first one eats my shoelaces). And I may yell and cuss (way) too much, but life is good. It’s really, really good.

What are you all ooey gooey mushy about now, Jana?

So many things. Too many to count, thought I can come up with some…

  • Jason sprung Valentine’s Day on me a day early, and it included a blue box from Tiffany & Co. and a beautiful note that made me weepy.
  • Over 100 of you have helped me raise over $4000 for the Ronald McDonald House in Macon. Your support has made me realize so much about myself and has made me remember that there is so much good in the world. Sometimes it’s hard to see through the negativity, but it’s there. It’s in all of you!
  • I have some of the most amazing teammates anybody could ask for. I’ve found something I love (er, hate) doing… Running. And I’ve had Karen and Amy by my side, along with dozens of others pushing me to keep on.
  • Henry, even in his crazy, wild, teenager-acting self, is an amazing little bundle of love. I mean, his middle name is even Love! He fills me with so much joy (and frustration) sometimes I feel like I will surely burst!
  • I’m in love with me. Whaaaaat? I’m so proud of myself for doing something outside my comfort zone, setting a giant goal, and being a week away from doing what now seems like a pretty easy little run. I love that when I say things like, “I signed up for a race, but it’s just a 10k,” I get full of pride. I love that Jason is proud and Henry is proud. I love that I have chosen to do something that will help me both physically and mentally for years to come. I love the rush of finishing a race and looking to the next one.
  • There are other changes going on that I can reveal later, but for now I can just say that there are amazing things in store. (Vague much?) (sorry)

    • In a nutshell, right now I’m just a big ole blob of love. I’m overwhelmed with love I’m being shown and love that I feel towards others.

    I’ve gotta ask… Will you all be my Valentines?

    Filed Under: Family, Friends, Running, Thoughts

    Hello there, 2013!

    January 1, 2013 By 16 Comments

    Hey y’all! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    My Facebook feed and Twitter feed are filled with resolutions, revolutions, and promises to change for the new year. People are planning to lose weight, be more assertive, be healthier, save more money… all the usual suspects.

    Then I’m seeing a “one word for 2013″ trend. This I like. A lot, actually.

    The three of us sat down last night and have chosen our words. I won’t tell you who chose which word, but you can probably figure it out!

    2013 words

    Today begins a fresh year, brimming with possibility. New calendars and new files in the drawer at work. The tree is down and the fridge is cleaned out at home. All the laundry is clean and the toilets will be cleaned this afternoon.

    2012

    2012 was exciting. There were amazing things that happened to me and my family.

    January: I decided on a new motto.

    February: Henry went on a date.

    March: I wrote this post that took about 5 minutes to put together as part of my friend Erin’s series, “Show Me Your Roots.”

    April: We camped in the rain.

    May: I earned a place in the Mother Hall of Fame when I carved a watermelon like the Death Star.

    June: We went to St. Simons, I stalked Jim Cantore, I was chosen as a BlogHer Voices of the Year honoree. I also decided to start running and got talked into running a half marathon.

    July: Fadra handed over Stream of Consciousness Sunday to me.

    August: I danced with The Rockettes. I also went back to work for the first time in 8 years.

    September: Henry got to go to DragonCon (even though he passed out and totally didn’t see the whole part we went for) and he got a dog.

    October: NonCon. Enough said.

    November: I took a picture. And it haunts me still (in a good way).

    December: My boys (especially the small one) make me smile almost daily. Especially when they buy me finger monkeys!

    2013

    2013 is going to be a good year. If it absolutely kills me, it will be amazing! I’m not making resolutions (as such) but there are things I plan to do this year. Most aren’t any different than things I strive to do on a daily basis, though.

    I will run a 15k in January.

    I will run a half marathon (13.1 miles) in February.

    I will strive to be graceful and gracious and someone who lives and loves with every ounce of her being. 

    I will be proud of surviving for an entire decade without my Charlie and for helping saves lives because he lived (and died).

    I will write from my heart. Maybe not every day or even every week, but I will write.

    I will teach my son to be a gentleman and continue to allow him to be the amazing little soul he is.

    I will strive to be the best wife and mom I can.

    I will work hard and try to always “do unto others as I would have them do unto me.”

    And in the words of my sweet friend Robin, I will “Be Love and Spread Love.”

    belovespreadlove

    Have a beautiful 2013, friends. It’s going to be a great one!

    Filed Under: Thoughts Tagged With: , , , , , ,

    Memories…

    December 15, 2012 By 14 Comments

    Memories.

    They flood back in droves. Sounds, smells, conversations. My heart flutters, bordering on panic. I feel the buzzing in my head get louder.

    The memories have been suppressed for months now.

    Until yesterday.

    Until someone walked into a school in Connecticut and crushed the hopes and dreams of a couple dozen families. Hundreds of lives — CHANGED. Never to be the same.

    I have cried for them. I have cried for the parents who have gifts wrapped under trees and who now have to choose caskets instead of Wiis and Barbie dolls.

    I have cried for me and my husband and my son and for the anger that fills my heart when I think about all the babies and children I know who won’t fulfill their potential.

    I’m at a loss for words, really.

    I’ve written many times about finding your Roses in December, most recently at Still Standing Magazine. Imagine my surprise when I realized that our climbing rose, that hasn’t bloomed in weeks, has bloomed during a week where we have had freezing temperatures.

    It’s a reminder to me that life, like nature, is precious. We can survive the worst, just as the rose can survive the cold. But just when we think we can’t go on and that life will never look the same, we’re reminded that there is hope. It may feel far away, but there is hope.

    To the parents and families who have lost so much… I pray that you have Roses in the weeks and years to come. I pray that you find some peace over time. I pray that you feel the love from people around the world who are wrapping you in their arms. I pray for your community, that it may heal and learn to trust again in time. I pray for your other children and the other children of the community, that they may grow up without feeling guilty about it not being them instead. For you I pray, as a mother who has had to choose a tiny casket and a mother who will never feel her child in her arms again. For you I pray for Roses. Amen.

    Filed Under: Serious Stuff, Thoughts Tagged With: , , ,

    Believe…

    December 13, 2012 By 3 Comments

    Henry, pushing his hot dogs aside: I’m not very hungry.

    Me: Are you ok? Do you feel bad?

    Henry, shyly: I’m um, I’m just not hungry.

    Me: Are you nervous? 

    Henry: Maybe a little. 

    ***************************************

    The night before, Henry asked very simply, “What will you do if I get coal for Christmas?”

    After questioning him about what he said, he very sheepishly explained that he’s afraid that he’ll be punished if he only gets coal for Christmas from Santa.

    He’s afraid he’s not been good enough for Santa to visit with toys.

    ***************************************

    We make an appointment to see the Santa at Phipps Plaza in Buckhead in September. People go crazy to get an appointment with him because he’s (not to be completely snotty) the best. He’s the Bentley of Santas.

    We scurry out of the house after work to make it down to the mall for a 7:45 appointment. It’s a mad dash, this year complete with forgetting Watkins, our trusty elf. Luckily we had time to turn around and grab him so he could see his boss for a few minutes.

    Our evening started with rushing and anxiety and lots of shuffling…

    ***************************************

    There were finishing touches put on the list. It’s hard to narrow down all your “wants” to five things that Santa’s allowed to bring you when you’re eight. The line got shorter. We were last. The last ones of the night…

    Twinkles in eyes got brighter and under my hand, his heartbeat got faster.

    It was his turn.

    Meet Santa. Sit. Smile for the camera.

    Then there was whispering, smiling, talking to Watkins. There were a few winks from Santa in our direction.

    And then the awkward goodbyes.

    That included the shot that reminded me that he believes.

    He truly believes.

    And that’s what makes Christmas magical, friends.

    Filed Under: Henry, Memories, Thoughts Tagged With: , , , , ,

    This Whole “Working” Thing…

    December 6, 2012 By 1 Comment

    I gotta tell ya. This whole “being a working girl” thing is getting in the way of my blogging.

    I MISS IT HERE.

    I’m really enjoying my job, though. Four months in, and I’m finally feeling pretty confident about it all. Well, at least until the next OMG I NEED IT NOW request comes up and I have to scavenge for plants to send to a job site.

    Today I told a friend, who happens to be a vendor (and a reader of this here site – you know who you are!) that work was really getting in the way of my writing. He agreed.

    Days like today are weird.

    I woke up to a text from a friend I haven’t talked to in a while. I got a note on Facebook from a girl I know, and it was so sweet I cried. I spoke to someone else on the phone who said nice things about a different post I had written. Some interesting (vague) stuff is happening on the home-front. My husband commented on a link on Facebook (which NEVER happens).

    Oh, and I’m having hot chocolate for dinner.

    See? Weird stuff today.

    It made me think. I love what I do here, in this space, in my thinking place. I don’t care if anybody reads it or shares it. But I miss it. I miss posting several times a week and getting my creative thoughts flowing.

    Sunday I’ll be jumping into my late 30′s when I celebrate my birthday. I plan on doing a whole lot of nothing (except running 5 miles and eating half a cake) that day so I may use that time to plan out some fun new stuff for the site. Or not. I’m not sure.

    All I know for sure right now is that work is getting in the way of blogging and writing. So I need to make time for both.

    And that starts now.

     

     

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