Full Of Yellow Lights

Ever had a day where every light you drive through turns yellow right as you get to it?

Last Tuesday was that kind of day for me. I rolled through EVERY single stoplight on the way to work as it was turning yellow.

After about 7 yellow lights, I wondered what that meant was in store for me that day. I had started the day feeling a little out of sorts, scattered, wondering if I should just stop everything and jump back into bed, or power through and make the day my bitch. I chose the latter.

It’s that feeling of not being in full “go” mode, and not being in full “stop” mode. That purgatory-like place where you don’t know whether to slam on brakes and hope your coffee and purse don’t come flying across the car, or whether to just push the gas a little harder and breeze on through.

Sounds kinda like life sometimes, huh?

Do you ever have days where you (literally or metaphorically) feel like you’re constantly running through yellow lights?

photo via flickr user Beaufort’s TheDigitel

My Vanilla Is Better Than Your Vanilla. And Other Things I’m Thankful For.

I don’t remember how old I was when I realized the vanilla we used in recipes at home was “adult vanilla.”

Maybe it was when we found out our housekeeper was stealing it and getting wasted off of it while she ironed our clothes. That was probably it.

For all my life, there has always been a fancy bottle with a hand written label on it in one of our cabinets. My mom would add little bits of liquor to it every now and then – sometimes it was bourbon, other times it was brandy. When she got crazy, it was rum! When she found vanilla beans on sale, she would buy some and slip them down into the bottle and remove the old ones.

She would pull out the fancy bottle when a recipe called for a teaspoon or tablespoon of vanilla. I never knew there was anything called Vanilla Extract.

You can call me a vanilla snob if you need to.

Anyway, a few years ago, for Christmas, I believe, my mom gave both me and my sister fancy bottles with hand written labels on them.

She passed down bottles of her own vanilla.

The label read:

Yes, that says “Originally bottled in 1983.”

This was one of those gifts that brought tears to my eyes because it was a childhood memory that was ever present. Every time I reached for (crappy) vanilla extract, I longed to have “real vanilla.” Vanilla out of the pretty bottle in the pantry.

I’m thankful that my mom saw fit to pass this on to us now instead of later. Life tastes better because of it. Silly? Yes.

But whatever.

The only downfall to this magnificentness? You can’t make ice cream with it. BECAUSE IT DOESN’T FREEZE! (Lesson learned the very hard way.)

Time and persistence taste delicious.

I’m thankful for time. Time that helps heal wounds, physical and emotional.

I’m thankful for persistence. Persistence to train, to love, to pick up my feet day after day.

I’m thankful for the obvious. My husband, my son, my Guardian Angel with a name. I’m thankful for my parents and sister and her beautiful family. I’m thankful for my house and my health and the ability to do most things I want without much effort.

I’m thankful for my job and my coworkers. They are a great group to work with and I never could have imagined being excited about going back to work. See also: Benefits.

I’m thankful for my Disney Half Marathon training team and the Ronald McDonald House.

I’m thankful for my friends, the ones I’ve had all my life, the ones who only live in my computer, and those in between.

I’m thankful for the freedoms that our country allows us. I’m also thankful for the freedom to keep some of my opinions to myself.

I’m thankful for pretty fall colors, bright spring flowers, light dustings of snow and refreshing summer showers.

But most of all, I’m thankful for fancy bottles with hand written labels that are full of memories.

What are you thankful for?

What Does It Mean?

I took this picture the other day, meaning to simply take a picture of the beautiful sky that was the backdrop of even more gorgeous fall color on the nursery.

I got it home and looked at it on my computer. This is what I had.

Surely it means something. Or it’s just a picture that got wonky?

I know it’s calming and gorgeous and strangely comforting.

What do you think?

 

I would like…

I would like a lot of things.

Like, for example, for the dog not to go outside, pee and poop and THEN COME IN THE HOUSE AND TAKE A BIG OLE SHIT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN.

I’d like for her not to attack Henry every time he tries to play with her.

I’d like for him not to be such a drama queen, he yells and that makes the dog more excited and that makes him get louder and more dramatic and OMG THEN THERE IS YELLING AND DRAMA AND TEARS.

I’d like for my brain not to be so overwhelmed that it’s completely shut down.

I’d like for there to be something other than Nickelodeon, Disney or Seinfeld on my TV, like you know, something *I* might want to watch.

I’d like to not feel so defeated.

I’d like to be caught up on laundry and dishes.

I’d like to have motivation to do anything other than make dinner and sit after being at work all day.

I’d like for it to always be winter but for there to be enough daylight for me to get my runs in during the week. At this rate, I’m looking at weekend running or running on the nursery which is really just an accident waiting to happen for me.

I’d like for this vertigo to go the eff away. It went away and now it appears to be back. Little stubborn thing.

I’d like to get caught up at work (is there such a thing?).

And while we’re asking…

I’d like for Auburn to win this weekend.

Well, I guess you can’t have everything, huh? Where would you put it?

Is This What A Mid-Life Crisis Looks Like?

That’s obviously what this is… what this crazy life is that I seem to be leading right now looks like.

It HAS to be a mid-life crisis.

There’s really no explanation for the fact that I’m doing crazy things that I SWORE I would never do.

Like planning to run a half marathon in February. Obviously I’ve lost my mind.

Like thinking I’m going to be writing a book over the course of the month of November.

See also: Lost my mind.

How about going back to work?

Or winning/buying a pair of (really uppity) cowboy boots that I’m going to go to my grave pretending that Ree chose me (and Lindsay and Stephanie) because we were the most awesome people on Earth…

See also, again: Lost my mind.

But aren’t they FABULOUS? (get ready because I’m giving some boots away soooooon.)

I’m assuming, and this is PURE ASSUMPTION, that along with a mid-life crisis comes brain farts, the inability to string words into sentences, night sweats, moodiness, and the desire to eat chocolate and buy a new car.

So is this what it looks like, this thing called a mid-life crisis?

Because if so, I’m totally gonna use that excuse to eat chocolate and buy a new car.

Anybody else feeling like this at 36? I know I’m not alone.

*****UPDATE: I quit. I quit NaNoWriMo. I realized it sounded like a wonderful idea but I just don’t have time for it. I’d like to make it to 37 without any more gray hairs than I have already so I’m letting it go. I’m going to try to write something, anything, every day to keep my brain sharp, though!

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