I’m such a good colorer, if they gave out college scholarships for it, I’d have a degree from Harvard. If they gave Oscars for it, I’d have one. If they gave you those big, fake checks for a million dollars, I wouldn’t be blogging about coloring, I’d be out spending some dang money, y’all!

Anyway…

The other day I was reading something that said coloring helps alleviate anxiety (or maybe I made that up, I’m not sure) so I went in search of some printable coloring pages for adults. NO NOT PORN, you crazy people. Just non-cartoon coloring pages.

I found some on Pinterest like this:

Source: doverpublications.com via Jana on Pinterest

I headed to Publix and grabbed a brand spanking new container of Crayola colored pencils and went to town.

Over the last two days, I’ve turned that ^^^ into this:

And with each change of color, I could feel a little more anxiety wash away.

]]> http://janasthinkingplace.com/2012/05/new-colored-pencils/feed/ 2 http://janasthinkingplace.com/2012/05/i-cant-wait/ http://janasthinkingplace.com/2012/05/i-cant-wait/#comments Thu, 17 May 2012 11:48:27 +0000 Jana A http://janasthinkingplace.com/?p=4480 I can’t wait for my great-grandchildren to find my book by The Bloggess.

First of all, they’ll be all, “Blogging? What is that? These people thought they were so damn crafty with their internet things. Can you believe they even made it out of those dark ages? How did they function with that twitter and Facebook stuff? So lame. Poor people.”

And then they’ll be like, “Hey, this book looks neat. OH AND IT’S SIGNED!”

And then they’ll be like, “Oh Great-Grannie Jana was so awesome!” and then they’ll want to know what “knock knock motherfucker” means and they’ll have to break out the old-school internet to find out.

I’m so glad Jenny got to come to Atlanta on her whirlwind book tour. Even sick and hopped up on all kinds of cold medicine, she was wonderful and gracious and obviously humbled by the 400 or so people stuffed into Barnes & Noble in Buckhead.

I was also flattered that when I said I was Jana from Band Back Together she knew who I was! Remember, I did a little interview for a feature on our Goes To 11 series with her a few months back.

I just wish the dumbass that offered to take my picture had given a crap about getting a halfway decent shot.

Do not adjust your screen. Objects ARE as fuzzy as they seem.

As an added bonus, I got to hang out with Anissa and Katherine AND run into my energy healer, Amy! What a great surprise!

So, great-grandkids of mine, if you had to go to the good ole internet to find out about “knock knock motherfucker” and you found your great-grannie’s blog, I hope you’re being good for your mama and daddy. Also, your robot just snuck out of the back door… you better go catch him!

]]> http://janasthinkingplace.com/2012/05/i-cant-wait/feed/ 2 http://janasthinkingplace.com/2012/05/mothers-day-love-its-just-like-bacon/ http://janasthinkingplace.com/2012/05/mothers-day-love-its-just-like-bacon/#comments Tue, 15 May 2012 11:51:53 +0000 Jana A http://janasthinkingplace.com/?p=4463 Apparently I’m loved with the same intensity that people love bacon.

And I’m as pretty as a turtledove.

(also, my scanner’s all jacked up but at the bottom right, there is “Charlie” — a little boy with angel wings and a star in his hand.”)

And I’m 20 something.

How about you? What did your kiddo(s) come up with about you for Mother’s Day?

But there are four.

And finally, we have a true family portrait.

Thank you, Amy, for indulging my idea.

And for always being there to smile and cry and remember.

photo credit: Hiley Creative Photography

For those who are new, Mother’s Day begins what I consider the Season of Ick. It starts the spiral of remembering every minute of Charlie’s birth, life and death. The season ends on Father’s Day. Convenient, huh?

I’m a mother. A mother three times over. One pregnancy ended at 13 weeks. One pregnancy ended well and then tragedy struck. One pregnancy brought me the sunshine and the moon and the stars that twinkle over a country sky.

For as much as I’ve lost as a mother, I’ve been blessed a million times over.

Henry, in spite of his normal kid antics, makes me happy to be alive every single second of the day.

His laugh fills my heart and soul with joy that I never thought I could experience, especially “after.”

When we walk, he still instinctively reaches up to hold my hand, even when I walk him to school and go on field trips with him.

You know? I have a lot more to say but there’s something much more important I must do now.

I’m going to just stop writing this post and I’m going to snuggle. Because one day he won’t want to snuggle anymore and I’ll be able to write all about that. But for now?

I’m gonna soak up all the snuggles.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Kidding.

There are some things this week that I’ve really loved and I’m going to share them right here and now.

** My friend wrote about Taking Back Christianity. I’m not sure I’ve read anything I’ve agreed with so much in my entire life. Or at least this month. She hit the nail right on the head.

** The Bloggess is coming to Atlanta next week. I KNOW! I’m definitely going and it sounds like I’ll have a few other girls going with me.

** Angie, my Phickles Pickles friend, has taken #FineChinaFriday and the #TeacupRevolution to a new level. Her new addition, Hottie, was born with a china teacup in its paw.

** Speaking of #FineChinaFriday… play along! Pull out that dusty china, silver or crystal and enjoy whatever you’re having for dinner on it. (Guys, you can put Mom’s breakfast on it on Sunday morning, too — hint hint!)

** My baby is about to finish his first grade year. WHEN DID HE GROW UP? He had a crossover ceremony for Scouts on Tuesday and it was all kinds of adorable.

** It was a week ago now, but if you missed the May The Fourth Be With You party, well, you missed out completely. I promise there’s another post coming about the food and all that. But for now, you just get pictures of the fun! (ps: I assume they give out Mother of the Year awards on Mother’s Day?)

** I get to see my best friend this weekend. We’re going to the lake/pond and she’s going to be doing our photo shoot for the Band Back Together 2013 calendar. Yep. Jason AND I are going to be in a calendar. How awesome is that? I mean, it’s because we have a kid that died so I’d rather NOT have to be in a calendar, but yeah. Never been in one so this is kinda fun!

That’s all I know right now.

Wishing you all a beautiful weekend and peaceful Mother’s Day.

ps: Men, don’t forget to help the littles get a gift for mom.

pps: If you know someone who has lost a baby and has empty arms, make sure you acknowledge that she, in fact, is a mother. There’s nothing in the world more painful than a Mother’s Day with no baby in your arms.

Each boy traveled across a bridge that held planks with each of the Cub Scouting’s 12 Core Values. They were presented with the neckerchiefs for their next rank — in Henry’s case, he’s now moved from Tiger to the trail to becoming a Wolf Cub Scout.

So, that’s not wordless, but here are the pictures. I think he’s proud.

I can’t’ tell you the exact moment I knew we would be ok, but it happened.

I can’t remember if it was a year later, three years later or even last month.

It just happened.

One day I realized that we were still standing.

Standing side by side, holding hands, always missing one tiny set of hands to grab on to.

Standing always in memory of our son who sits on our shoulders.

Standing, waiting, longing for the day that we see him again.

Standing, wondering if Henry will ever understand how special he is to us.

Standing, still standing.

After all these years, we’re still standing.

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If you’ve experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, infertility, baby loss… any type of pregnancy or early childhood loss really… I ask you to visit Still Standing, a new online magazine that features columns from contributing writers and guest posters.

From their site, their mission:

In the face of loss and infertility, our mission is to show the world that we are still standing. Holding fast to resilience and hope. Our mission is to help you embrace life for everything that it is after experiencing the loss of a child or infertility.

The focus of this magazine can be broken down into three parts:

• encouraging women, men and even children to embrace life
• connecting hearts around the world who have similar life experiences
• becoming a resource for friends, family and even medical professionals, to know how to support someone enduring child loss and/ or infertility

We had no idea what to expect, but we got him all uniformed up and headed that way. My mom and dad (Rock) came with us. The plan was for Rock, an Eagle Scout, to walk the field with him. We even gave my dad an early birthday present — a red Scout shirt.

Here’s my little guy when we got in the stadium.

He proceeded to be extremely goofy.

We got to see some little band that came marching in. I’m not sure if this is the official Braves band or what, but they were good.

We waited in line for what seemed like forever. It was like an hour but thankfully we got there when we did because there were a ton of people behind us.

Then we went through the tunnel. It was pretty cool, I’ve gotta say!

Here’s my Eagle and Bobcat scouts.

Henry and I pretended to storm the field. They were SO serious about you not getting close to the grass.

At home plate.

Making the walk. I don’t think he let Rock’s hand go the whole time.

These guys were awesome. I’m not sure who they were, maybe coaches or something? They just stood there and waved and smiled at all the boys that came by. It was kinda cool.

Once we made our way, in the heat, up the elevator to the tippy top of the stadium, we ate. And watched. And danced. And cheered.

We all had a great time!

And I think it’s something Rock and Henry will remember for a long time. I’m proud of my Eagle Scout and my Bobcat Scout.

ps: The Braves lost.

pps: I was disappointed there was no halftime show.

ppps: I know nothing about baseball and plan to keep it that way.

pppps: I ran into a dear friend seconds after texting her to see where she was. Seriously, like hit send and THERE SHE WAS. Freaky. ((waves at Liz))

ppppps: The End.

Today’s prompt (and now that I’m finished with the post, I realize it’s only loosely based on the prompt):

Are you a people person? What are some of your favorite types of encounters or tell me a story of one!

One day about 4 years ago, I was standing in line at the CVS in our very small town. There were two older women behind me. Being such a small town, it was unusual that I didn’t know the lady right behind me. I did know the other, though.

I had already spoken to the lady I knew and was minding my own business waiting for my turn at the register.

The lady I knew mentioned how beautiful the baby was in the photos the other lady had printed. She said thank you very quietly and then said that it was her granddaughter who had died the day before. She was on her way to her daughter’s house and wanted to print a few of the pictures she had of her. Her voice was shaking and it was obvious she was trying to hold it together.

Then I heard the lady I knew say, “Jana might have some words of comfort for you. Her son died a few years ago and really touched the lives of everyone in town who knows her family.”

When I turned around, the grandmother just started openly crying and hugged me. We talked for a few minutes and she told me how worried she was about her daughter – that she was so very sad. I shared with her some things her daughter was going through and how she could help comfort her.

I remember her giving me a smile through her tears before she left. She thanked me for talking to her and I told her that I would keep her in my thoughts and prayers… that her daughter would be ok and that time and love would help mend her broken heart.

Back in my car, I cried and wondered what had put me right there in that minute. I never went to CVS and yet, that day, I had to go. Why was I there?

I’m a people person. I love to have conversations with complete strangers. I’m very much like my mother in that sense and it drives my very shy husband insane! I find more and more that when I have these random encounters, there is a thread that makes me know that I was supposed to be right there in that very minute.

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post. (On Fadra’s sidebar)
• Link up your post below.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Now…

1. Grab the button. (On Fadra’s sidebar)

2. Write your post.

3. Link up here.