The Big Red Boat OF DOOM!

April 9, 2013 By 3 Comments

All the chatter about Carnival Cruise Line’s doomed cruises lately has reminded me of my family’s cruise history. I give you the story of doomed cruises, Herbert style…

big red boat

When I was young and my parents were still in the jewelry business, we bought from a company that gave cruises if you bought a certain amount of product from them over the course of a year.

We cruised the seas on the Premier Cruise Line (aka The Big Red Boat, aka Disney Cruise Line before DCL existed) and it was great fun.

A few years in, after cruising every year to Nassau, they switched it up and we went to The Abacos.

The trip was uneventful until the morning we were supposed to go through a small channel to enter The Abacos or some other nonsense. The weather was bad and we couldn’t get through.

Apparently this had never happened before. OF COURSE IT HADN’T.

We turned around or something and went over to Nassau. Again. (I know, rough life?)

Premier gave everyone 50% off cruises and we took them up on it.

The next year, we hopped the same boat with the same itinerary.

Guess what?

Yup. It had only happened once before and again, we found ourselves on the cruise that couldn’t thread through the teeny tiny channel.

Back to Nassau. More braids and haggling with people over $1.50 trinkets made of paper (or imported from Vietnam).

Oh well. 50% off another cruise for 4 people. We’ll take it.

Third cruise booked. This time with my Aunt, Uncle, and two cousins. It was great fun!

UNTIL WE COULDN’T GET THROUGH AGAIN!

According to the cruise line, this had only happened TWO other times in the history of navigating the miniscule channel that had been dug by hand by Oompaloompas apparently. And guess what? We were on all of them.

Free cruises for all! WHEEEEEE!!

We booked another cruise. Same ship. Same place. Because, well, obviously we’re insane.

When we boarded the ship, the Captain greeted us. We were “the family” that was doomed. I’m sure he wanted to kick us off so they would make it through the pin-head size lane to The Abacos.

But instead, he greeted us with open arms, a fruit and champagne basket in our room, and an invitation to breakfast in the steering room of the ship to watch him thread through the channel.

Even on vacation, we bounced out of bed at some ungodly hour and went down to the ship’s steering room. If it had been me NOW, I would have had my sister hold me while I hung off the front of the ship ala The Titanic, but alas, we just sat there and minded our manners while a (probably drunk) Captain steered us SUCCESSFULLY through the channel.

We were thrilled to finally see The Abacos. It was as gorgeous as reported in all the travel brochures.

The only part of that cruise that truly sucked, was the fact that it was the end of the line for free and discounted cruising for us.

Filed Under: Adventure, Memories Tagged With: , , ,

Mom: The Popsicle Dispenser

March 8, 2013 By 3 Comments

There’s very little in this world more heartbreaking as a mother than to watch your child while he is sick.

From experience, the flu is horrible. I’m 99.9% sure I’ve never had it in my life, but I did right before Christmas. It knocked me on my (thankfully very plush) behind for a full week. And that was WITH Tamiflu. Jason and Henry avoided getting it, thank goodness, but it made for a quiet Christmas for sure.

Yesterday, I had a well-check pediatrician appointment scheduled for Henry. But he woke up not feeling too well. He had a slight fever but was looking pretty good.

We hung around the house until time to go to the doctor, during which time he went back to sleep on the sofa and woke up SICK.

Our well-check quickly turned into a VERY SICK check. Great planning on my part, huh?

After sleeping for about 30 minutes waiting for the doctor, he was seen. The original thought was just the “crud” that’s making the rounds. But a booger flu test was done.

Positive. Of course. 

So we left with a sucker, a sticker, and a prescription for Tamiflu and cuddles.

The rest of the day was spent with him sleeping on the sofa. My child who isn’t still except half the time he’s sleeping (the other half he’s wiggling in his sleep) didn’t move for four hours.

My heart broke.

I wanted to, and still want to, fix it.

I want to do more than give him his medicine and make sure he drinks his gatorade. I want to cuddle him but not get the flu myself.

I want to put him in a bubble so he never gets this sick again.

Thankfully, today’s a holiday from school. It’s now a sick day from work for me. Luckily I can squeeze in a little work from home (and some laundry and dishes that have been 110% neglected lately) and not be too far behind when I go back.

I think all moms will agree that having a sick child makes you feel insanely helpless. I wish I could take his place on that sofa and let my body fight the flu. But alas, I can’t.

I can only provide the care he needs and keep dispensing popsicles at his request.

******************

Related: He’s grown 2.5 inches and gained only 2 pounds since last February. Talk about shooting up and slimming down! That puts him in the 93rd percentile for height for age 8. And in the 55th percentile for height for a 9.5 year old! HAHAHA!

 

Filed Under: Henry Tagged With: , ,

Hello there, 2013!

January 1, 2013 By 16 Comments

Hey y’all! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My Facebook feed and Twitter feed are filled with resolutions, revolutions, and promises to change for the new year. People are planning to lose weight, be more assertive, be healthier, save more money… all the usual suspects.

Then I’m seeing a “one word for 2013″ trend. This I like. A lot, actually.

The three of us sat down last night and have chosen our words. I won’t tell you who chose which word, but you can probably figure it out!

2013 words

Today begins a fresh year, brimming with possibility. New calendars and new files in the drawer at work. The tree is down and the fridge is cleaned out at home. All the laundry is clean and the toilets will be cleaned this afternoon.

2012

2012 was exciting. There were amazing things that happened to me and my family.

January: I decided on a new motto.

February: Henry went on a date.

March: I wrote this post that took about 5 minutes to put together as part of my friend Erin’s series, “Show Me Your Roots.”

April: We camped in the rain.

May: I earned a place in the Mother Hall of Fame when I carved a watermelon like the Death Star.

June: We went to St. Simons, I stalked Jim Cantore, I was chosen as a BlogHer Voices of the Year honoree. I also decided to start running and got talked into running a half marathon.

July: Fadra handed over Stream of Consciousness Sunday to me.

August: I danced with The Rockettes. I also went back to work for the first time in 8 years.

September: Henry got to go to DragonCon (even though he passed out and totally didn’t see the whole part we went for) and he got a dog.

October: NonCon. Enough said.

November: I took a picture. And it haunts me still (in a good way).

December: My boys (especially the small one) make me smile almost daily. Especially when they buy me finger monkeys!

2013

2013 is going to be a good year. If it absolutely kills me, it will be amazing! I’m not making resolutions (as such) but there are things I plan to do this year. Most aren’t any different than things I strive to do on a daily basis, though.

I will run a 15k in January.

I will run a half marathon (13.1 miles) in February.

I will strive to be graceful and gracious and someone who lives and loves with every ounce of her being. 

I will be proud of surviving for an entire decade without my Charlie and for helping saves lives because he lived (and died).

I will write from my heart. Maybe not every day or even every week, but I will write.

I will teach my son to be a gentleman and continue to allow him to be the amazing little soul he is.

I will strive to be the best wife and mom I can.

I will work hard and try to always “do unto others as I would have them do unto me.”

And in the words of my sweet friend Robin, I will “Be Love and Spread Love.”

belovespreadlove

Have a beautiful 2013, friends. It’s going to be a great one!

Filed Under: Thoughts Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Believe…

December 13, 2012 By 3 Comments

Henry, pushing his hot dogs aside: I’m not very hungry.

Me: Are you ok? Do you feel bad?

Henry, shyly: I’m um, I’m just not hungry.

Me: Are you nervous? 

Henry: Maybe a little. 

***************************************

The night before, Henry asked very simply, “What will you do if I get coal for Christmas?”

After questioning him about what he said, he very sheepishly explained that he’s afraid that he’ll be punished if he only gets coal for Christmas from Santa.

He’s afraid he’s not been good enough for Santa to visit with toys.

***************************************

We make an appointment to see the Santa at Phipps Plaza in Buckhead in September. People go crazy to get an appointment with him because he’s (not to be completely snotty) the best. He’s the Bentley of Santas.

We scurry out of the house after work to make it down to the mall for a 7:45 appointment. It’s a mad dash, this year complete with forgetting Watkins, our trusty elf. Luckily we had time to turn around and grab him so he could see his boss for a few minutes.

Our evening started with rushing and anxiety and lots of shuffling…

***************************************

There were finishing touches put on the list. It’s hard to narrow down all your “wants” to five things that Santa’s allowed to bring you when you’re eight. The line got shorter. We were last. The last ones of the night…

Twinkles in eyes got brighter and under my hand, his heartbeat got faster.

It was his turn.

Meet Santa. Sit. Smile for the camera.

Then there was whispering, smiling, talking to Watkins. There were a few winks from Santa in our direction.

And then the awkward goodbyes.

That included the shot that reminded me that he believes.

He truly believes.

And that’s what makes Christmas magical, friends.

Filed Under: Henry, Memories, Thoughts Tagged With: , , , , ,

The One Where I Get A Finger Monkey

December 9, 2012 By 11 Comments

A few months back, I mentioned that I really wanted a finger monkey for my birthday.

A what?

A finger monkey. You know, one of these:

ISN’T IT THE MOST ADORABLE AND RIDICULOUS THING EVER?

Well, they can’t get me one because they’re probably illegal and hell, I don’t know if they even exist or not. They’re probably expensive, too. And likely would terrorize our dog and cat and kid.

So I figured I would opt for something else. Maybe a gift certificate for a facial or a tank of gas. Maybe I could sleep in until 7. Something practical.

I woke up this morning to being shuffled off to get a Starbucks Chai, a breakfast at Waffle House, and back home to this.

Look at that beautiful cake! It was tiramisu and to die for! But it didn’t kill me.

I didn’t die until I opened my gift and wondered why the HELL they bought me a monkey charm for my Pandora bracelet.

Then Henry said, “It’s because of your love of the finger monkey. And bananas for the monkey to eat.”

And THEN I DIED!

According to them, this is what went down in the Pandora store:

Pandora girl: Can I help you today?

Henry: Do you have a monkey?

Pandora girl: Sure. Why do you need a monkey?

Henry: Because my mom saw this picture on the internet and it had a pointy finger with a monkey on it. 

Pandora girl: OH! I WANT ONE OF THOSE FINGER MONKEYS!

Henry and Jason: ((dying laughing))

Henry: We’re going to need some bananas, too, because her name is Jana Banana and her finger monkey will get hungry.

After I gathered myself and stopped snorting while laughing, I quickly corrected them and let them know it wasn’t a finger monkey, it would really be a wrist monkey.

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