I’m not real sure how to go about starting a world-wide movement to revamp the whole seasons calendar, but I think it’s time.
Since Mother Nature went and hit menopause, things have just not fallen nicely into the neat little packages they used to. You know, where Spring was Spring and Winter was Winter. And let’s not forget Fall and Summer. They did what they were supposed to.
But not anymore. Mother Nature got her prescription to be bitchy and now it’s a big ole craps shoot as to which season you’re going to get on any given day.
Take for example, this Winter. Tornadoes in January? No freezing days in weeks. Bleh!
The entire country laughed out loud when that Groundhog said 6 more weeks of winter. The country collectively said, “What Winter? Has Winter even started?”
Seriously. Twitter blew up with people from all over — Georgia, Texas, California, Minnesota, Upstate NY, and even that crazy area above us, CANADA — asking where the hell Winter is.
It’s 70 here in Georgia today. That? That is crap, man. Our low tonight is what our average high should be — 58.
Not cool, Mother Nature. Not cool.
Here’s what I want to propose.
- Seasons should be determined by the states. Give power back to the states (hear that Congress?). Georgia’s seasons obviously need to be different from Wisconsin’s.
- Consider moving to a 3 season calendar instead of 4 since 12 is still equally divisible by 3.
- Think about using the wisdom that Phineas and Ferb have imparted to most of us moms out there. MAKE SWINTER A SEASON. Spring + Winter = sheer brilliance. Then we could have Sprummer (Spring/Summer) and Summerall (Summer/Fall). Three seasons right there.
So let’s say we’re in Georgia (because I am).
Here’s how the calendar should look.
Swinter = December, January, February
Sprummer = March, April, May
Summerall = June, July, August, September, October, November
Or, we could go to a two-season plan and have it look like this.
Fawintering = 3 weeks in December and January
Summer = The other 49 weeks
The second option is probably the best for Georgia.
What would revamping of the calendar look like for where you live?