Aunt Becky Made Me Do It

January 1, 2011 By 3 Comments

I’ve never done these “meme” things and in the last week, I’ve not only DONE one but I’ve MADE one! You can check it out here and participate, people, participate!

Every year, Becky over at Mommy Wants Vodka, does this ridiculous question and answer thing and it was really just too good not to participate in. So here goes… Aunt Becky’s Annual Meme

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before? In early 2010, I went to an energy healer for the first time. It was an amazing experience. Amy is awesome and anybody in the ATL area who wants to use her services should totally call her!

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t make resolutions. I kinda make goals that I’d like to try to meet. And yes, I met some and no, I didn’t meet some. Can’t have everything, right, where would you put it?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? People AROUND me gave birth, but none of my really close friends or my sister or anything. (not that I can remember… correct me if I’m wrong)

4. Did anyone close to you die? Not anyone in my circle of friends/family but there were a lot of deaths this year. Most of them unexpected and far too early. Especially the last quarter of the year.

5. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? My house sold. Period. That’s the ONLY thing I want right now. So please, Mr New Year, make it freaking HAPPEN!

6. What countries did you visit? Does Crawford County count? If not, then France… oh yeah, that was just Vegas.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why: December 31. Because that’s about how far my memory goes.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Personally, it was revamping my blog and making it more exciting and something that people (other than my family) want to read. And of course, my part in Band Back Together…

9. What was your biggest failure? I don’t know. I’m sure I failed at lots of things, but I don’t dwell on them for long so I don’t really remember.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I was sick a few times. I hurt my shoulder. I had to have a mammogram for a little boobie issue (which was all fine and dandy, thank goodness).

11. What was the best thing you bought? A ticket to Vegas! And my new iPhone 4 to replace my old 3G version.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Mine, of course! I behave like a lady!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I should probably not say!

14. Where did most of your money go? To pay the mortgage on the house that we don’t freaking live in. Fun stuff, huh?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Meeting all the girls (and guys, sorry Avitable) at I (still) Do in Vegas. (Can you tell I really enjoyed that trip?)

16. What song will always remind you of 2010? No idea.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? happier

ii. thinner or fatter? fatter

iii. richer or poorer? poorer in the bank, richer in friends

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? exercise, eat better, lose weight, etc etc etc… you know the drill.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? eat, gain weight, cussed, etc etc etc… you know. Same ole same ole!

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Really? That is SO 2010… seriously though, the same thing as always.

21. There was no #21. I don’t know why there was no 21. I barely remember being 21. Did you know I had a final the morning after I turned 21? Lameo.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009? Uh, that’d be awkward wouldn’t it? Since I’m married and all?

23. How many one-night stands? Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Seriously, Aunt Becky’s Meme? Seriously?

24. What was your favorite TV program? ANYTHING that wasn’t animated.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No comment. No, seriously, I don’t really hate anyone that I know personally. Now celebrities and athletes? That’s a whole ‘nother story.

26. What was the best book you read? Hands down… Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Changed my life.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? *looks around innocently* The Phineas and Ferb Soundtrack? Don’t knock it til you try it!

28. What did you want and get? A nap sometimes.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Black Swan. Fabulously gorgeous movie with amazing ballet and a thrilling storyline.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Nothing ON my birthday but I left the next morning for Vegas! I turned *gasp* 35!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? For our house to have sold. But that’s ok. 2011 is the year for that!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? Yoga pants, t-shirts and hoodie. The Fashion of the Stay At Home Mom.

34. What kept you sane? My Zoloft. And my friends in my computer. And coffee. And sangria.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don’t pay much attention to celebs, but probably the entire (effed up) Sister Wives cast of characters. They led me to Leah, my #1 SisterBitch!

36. What political issue stirred you the most? All of them. I wish the government would just stay the hell out of my business, bank account and life. That’s all I have to say about that.

37. Who did you miss? My Charlie, of course. Always. I will never miss anyone as much as him. This year I have really used him and his story for good.

38. Who was the best new person you met? There are far too many to list. Seriously. Everybody on Twitter, my friend Kitty (hi Kitty! Let’s do lunch), Becky, Leah, Lance, seriously, I can’t list them all!!! I LOVE EVERYBODY!!!!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010: Sometimes you can’t plan out everything, no matter how hard you try. Sometimes you are asked to do things you’re not sure how to deal with, but you should do what you’re asked and follow through (even if tears are involved). You don’t always have to be looking for something for the RIGHT THING to show up right in front of you. And always, ALWAYS go with your gut. It will never steer you wrong.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: It’s a poignant line from the inspirational Ke$ha…

Ain’t got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
Ain’t got no money in my pocket, but I’m already here

Happy 2011! Here’s to a great year!


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Last Minute Gift Ideas

December 22, 2010 By 11 Comments

We’ve all seen it. We’ve all sat down in a small airplane seat next to a really large, sweaty man and immediately grabbed the SkyMall catalog to fumble through while trying to people-watch all the other idiots getting onto the plane. You know you have. Don’t lie. It’s an infestation of germs of such mammoth proportions that the NIH should probably confiscate them due to being a bio terror threat.

Anyway, I picked up a few ideas for y’all on my trip to Vegas. I couldn’t wait to share them with you in case you still need the PERFECT gift for that special someone. Next year I’ll be doing personal shopping for those of you who are so wow’d by these choices that you want to pay me to buy crap for you.

Up first. The Orbitwheels. For $99.99 you can get a guaranteed hospital bill for the ER visit and orthopaedic surgeon visit you’ll be making between Christmas and New Year’s. That sounds fabulous, huh?

Second on the list. For the Postal Worker friends of yours (I’m looking at you, Stevie). When you come upon this dog, you’ll surely want the Dog Dazer & Dog-Off Deluxe to protect you from them. Though I’m pretty sure I’d like a handgun of some sort to fend off THAT kind of evil face. What say you?

For the Pervert in your family who flies a lot, THIS is the item for him. See. He’s already advertising for them. Who would be comfortable around a man with a moustache, in a purple shirt, who comes on the plane and BLOWS UP A PILLOW? Not this girl. Instead of “SkyRest” it should really say “SkyArrestMe”.

For all you cat lovers, if this cat doesn’t make you want to potty train your kitty, I don’t know what will? (sarcasm) Do you SEE the pure, unadulterated evil in her eyes? She’s going to KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP for making her take a kitty crap on the toilet. But if you want to see funny, you’ll click here.

And for the Stripper cousin on your list, here’s the Must-Have Stripper Gift for 2010. Showerheads with COLORED LIGHTS. I’m pretty sure if I install these in my house I need to sell, it’ll go in no time flat. If anybody’s gonna get one for me, you know since I can twirl around a stripper pole now, I’ll take the pink. It’s all kinds of awesome!

And last, but not least, the BEST way to eavesdrop on your coworkers or whoever you want to listen to. Just put this pretty little pen holder on your desk (the one behind the flash spot – these were taken with my iPhone at 37,000 feet with a stinky old man next to me… sue me, ok?) and you’re able to hear what’s going on next door. JUST LIKE when you used to put a glass to your ear to listen. (Or maybe you did that last week like this scary creepy guy, I don’t know)

So there you have it, folks. Your last minute gift ideas. If you hurry, they may be able to get them to you before time runs out. Hell, they’ll probably courier one to you if you ask nicely. How many of these things do they REALLY sell, anyway?

Hope you’ve gotten your shopping all done and are gearing up for a wonderful holiday!

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Friday Flakes

December 17, 2010 By 11 Comments

Boy howdy! Vegas really screwed my brain up. I’m going to blame it on that, ok? Surely it’s not anything else… I’m as scattered as a dropped bag of M&Ms. So in honor of being unable to put two thoughts together, I’m gonna do a catch-up post today! It’ll be fun, I promise!

  • SHOPPING: I’ve done a grand total of ZERO Christmas shopping. ZERO. Nothing. Nada. Zip. No gifts under the tree at all. What’s up with that? Christmas Eve is in ONE WEEK. Jason and I are going tomorrow to do all our shopping. Jaclyn’s coming up to hang out with HL so we can get it all done. Whew. Marathon of doing my LEAST favorite thing in the world… shopping.
  • CAMPING: We’re going camping for a few days after Christmas. I’m kinda freaked out about it. Temperatures much below freezing are a deal-breaker for me. I love the cold, but sleeping outside in bitter cold? Not my idea of awesome! Right now all our camping gear is in the “dining room” of our apartment. That means, in non-apartment-living-people-terms, right smack in the middle of everything. I can’t wait to get the camping and Christmas stuff out of here. I’m starting to feel a little claustrophobic and cramped. We need our house to SELL as soon as possible! Extra prayers are accepted!

I fear I'll be bundled up like Randy on The Christmas Story

  • BRRRRRrrrrr: It’s been cold here. Like wicked arctic cold. And no, I’m not being a Southern drama-queen. We’re talking highs of 30 and lows in the low teens. Freezing rain. Snow flurries. Wind. Bitter cold. I love the cold and the snow, but when there is ice involved – uncool. Wednesday night the commute home for most people was so bad, some abandoned cars, slept in offices and over 900 people crashed in the Atlanta area. YIKES!
  • ROCKIN OUT: Tuesday night, I went to a concert with my friend Hannah down at the Center Stage. We saw Christina Perri, Plain White T’s and Train! It was a FABULOUS concert. I haven’t been to one inside in so long. We typically see concerts at Chastain Park Ampitheater so seeing one inside was a treat… and a small venue makes all the difference! I discovered that I do, in fact, love men who wear guyliner. Maybe not a “real” man in everyday life, but celebs… definitely!

  • ELF: I’ve been a slacker about taking pictures of what Watkins, our pesky elf, has been up to. He’s been rather tame (by adult standards) but Henry is still enthralled with the magic of it all!

  • PRAYERS: Last night, Jason was putting Henry to bed. He came out and told me that when Henry was saying his prayers, he said “And thank you for bringing hope to our planet.” And if that’s not sweet to you, then you have a cold black heart. What a special little thing to say… unprompted!

I’m gonna get myself straight this weekend, catch up on the sleep I’ve apparently been missing, and get a few awesome posts lined up for next week!

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Waking Up In Vegas

December 15, 2010 By 22 Comments

I thoroughly enjoyed my virgin voyage to Vegas. I have to say, though, I had it in my mind that it would be a wee bit more flamboyant than it actually was. I’m not sure why, but it didn’t feel as uh, out of control, as I had it in my head.

But, if the level of exhaustion I felt when I returned is any indication to how fun it was, well, it was flippin fun!

Why was I in Vegas, you ask? I was there for a vow renewal for Brittany and her husband Andy.  Brittany is a rock-star blogger, as are her partners in crime who put together this kick-ass event! There was a bachelor/bachelorette party on Friday night and then a Vegas-style wedding on Saturday night.

My most exciting part of the trip was meeting Becky! Becky is who I work with on Band Back Together. It’s her baby and I feel so lucky to be a part of it with her! She’s so fabulous in person (even gimpy after surgery) and I can’t wait to see her again!

I really am having a hard time putting the trip into words. Surprising, huh? How about this? How about I throw some pictures out and just share some things I learned in Vegas? That sounds like a fabulous idea to me! Here goes nothing!

I learned that the first quarter you put in a slot machine will win you $13.75 which you will not come home with.

Meeting Mandi for the first time!

The view from my room at the MGM Signature

I learned that there are not, in fact, slot machines everywhere, though. Sometimes you have to walk half a mile THROUGH THE FREAKING HOTEL to find one.

Becky, Mandi and Me! Ready to hit the Casino!

I learned there are cowboys in Vegas. Well, there are when the Rodeo Finals are in town. They were EVERYwhere!

I learned that people still smoke. Who knew?

I learned that you can sell lots of rooms if you paint them pink and put naked women across an entire wall. The Rumor Hotel was so awesome… in a stripper-might-live-here kind of way. It WAS complete with free porn on channel 69, though! (no, mama, I didn’t watch any, jeeeeez)

The naked woman on the wall at the Rumor hotel.

If you act like you know what you’re doing, you may be invited to a red-carpet event at Caesar’s Palace. Mandi and I were walking around, minding our own aching-feet-business and got shooed into the H&M opening party! Hors d’oeuvres, cocktails, Vegas showgirls… it was cool!

The guy at the H&M Red Carpet party.

On the red carpet! (thanks for the pic Mandi)

There is no shortage of coffee or liquor. Or food. Or people who shouldn’t be wearing small clothing.

I learned that 70 year old women sometimes wear sparkly tights and mini skirts and hold hands with their 23 year old boy toys. (ewwwwww)

Toasting to the morning. With lots of coffee!

Lots of coffee and a real quick liquor drink is needed to attend Stripper 101. Which was a BLAST! We learned, from a HOT, real live stripper named Kindra, how to “give a little and take it away” (aka give a lap dance), do a pole dance and last but not least do a pole spin! It was so freaking hilarious! But the best part? The girl that was in the class who was newly-divorced and OBVIOUSLY looking for a new profession. She came dressed for the part. But let’s just say this – she’s going to be on the b or c team!

Bad picture, but yes, that's me on a pole! BWahahah!

We learned about stripper physics and that strippers use science, too.

The girls in the Stripper 101 class (Thanks Mouth-Media for the pic)

This proves that I’m a real card-carrying Stripper 101 graduate now.

See. Sino'men. That's me. Cinnamon!

Between stripper class and the wedding (bwahaha) I was able to squeeze in watching Cam Newton win the Heisman Trophy. I’m sure I was the only girl BY HERSELF in her hotel room in Vegas watching ESPN. But, love my Tigers and our man! Anyway…

Time for the wedding!

Me, Becky and Mandi ready for the Wedding.

Me and Elvis, obviously. (Thanks, Angie, for the pic)

Me and Becky (Thanks, Angie, for the pic)

I learned that Elvis-style vows are full of the awesome and include things like “I vow not to step on your blue suede shoes” and “I take you as my hunka hunka burning love.”

Vows. Elvis style. (Brittany and Andy)

I learned that Twitter friends are even MORE awesome than they are on Twitter.

Me and @grace134 (Jenny)

Me and @avitable (Adam)

I learned that people pay money to have a naked Japanese woman lay on their table so they can eat sushi off her girly parts (with leaves separating the food from the skin, obviously).

Hello! Naked Sushi!

I learned that rich French food is the perfect hangover cure. That and LOTS of $6.50 coffee.

Eating at the Eiffel Tower on Sunday morning. It was f*cking EPIC MAN!

And on the way home…

I learned that I will never be able to look at another pole again the same way.

Almost home.

I learned that it’s hard to explain to your 6 year old why Paris is in Vegas. Or why the Statue of Liberty in in Vegas.

I learned that it takes 2-3 showers to wash Vegas off your body. And that’s without glitter.

I learned that I can mark Vegas off my list of places to go and if I never get back, that’s ok. I’m more of a mountain girl!

Thanks to everybody who put on I (Still) Do and to the amazing sponsors who filled our swag bags with goodies! You all ROCK!!

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Greetings From 30,000 Feet

December 10, 2010 By 11 Comments

Hi there! Happy Friday!

I’m in a plane, somewhere over Mississippi probably (or somewhere between Georgia and Nevada) headed to Vegas!

I’ll be meeting some of the most fabulous blogging, tweeting, internetting women (and a few men) ever! I’m very nervous actually. I’m hoping I won’t feel out of place, but honestly, a few drinks and I’m just as awesome as they are!

I’m most excited about finally meeting Becky (Mommy Wants Vodka) after working with her for several months on Band Back Together and getting to be pretty close! It’s gonna be awesome to finally give her a hug and get to see her glittery awesomeness!

A sneak peek of what’s involved… a bachelorette party, gaming lessons, VIP passes to hip and cool nightclubs, Stripper101 classes (uh, can you say HILARIOUS?), and an Elvis wedding where Brittany and Andy (Barefootfoodie and her husband) renew their vows! I see drinking, gambling, sleeping and eating in my future!

Check out the awesome Sponsors, too! See? Awesome!

So, if I don’t come back by Monday afternoon, send help and bail money OR know that I’ve won big and decided to move to the coast of Maine!

See ya on the flip side! And remember, “What happens in Vegas ends up on Facebook and Twitter!”

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